International Women’s Day 8th March

International Women’s Day 8th March 2024

This women’s day I wanted to highlight two incredible women who are doing incredible work and have a connection to Mellulah.

Firstly, a retreat guest of mine Gowree Hampapur is taking her passion for women’s rights to Mysore in India to support Yoga Stops Traffick with 108 Sun Salutations, please support Gowree by making a donation to her Just Giving page here

Secondly, as Mellulah has had a connection with Morocco and I am about to head out to Morocco to check a yoga retreat venue that I’ll be running in November 2024, I wanted to highlight an award won by an incredible Moroccan mother, Rabha El Mayhar fighting for the rights of her child and recognised by the International Women of Courage Award

My dear friend Amanda McGregor, who will be wit me on the November retreat nr Tagazhout in Morocco edited the film made about Rabha called ‘Bastards’ and available to view via this link  

The charity working with families with children of unmarried mothers, completely unrecognised by Moroccan family laws and ostracised by society, is based just a few miles from our retreat in Agadir, so with all these connections it feels only right to remember the privilege of being a single mother here in the UK and the rights we take for granted.
Supporting other women is dear to my heart as many of you know, so please do take a moment to help raise awareness of Moroccan women and forward this on to others thank you.

 

Rabha El Haymar – Morocco
“Rabha El Haymar is a courageous Moroccan woman who successfully navigated her country’s legal system and fought to obtain, through a recourse provided by Morocco’s family code reform of 2004, recognition of her traditional marriage to spare her daughter a life of marginalization and discrimination as an undocumented child.  Ms. Haymar’s story became more than a personal triumph when she crossed paths with British film-maker Deborah Perkin and agreed for her story to be told in a documentary entitled “Bastards.”  Shown on Moroccan national television and film festivals around the world, “Bastards” raises awareness about the plight of mothers of undocumented children, and the Moroccan family laws allowing women like Ms. Haymar to seek justice.  Despite the heavy reputational cost of publicly sharing her story, Ms. Haymar believes doing so can encourage other women and lead to change. As King Mohammed VI calls for a new review of Morocco’s family code, Ms. Haymar’s case is now more relevant than ever.  She hopes that new reforms “will protect the rights of all women and children and empower them as full and equal citizens.”

Finally, I was grateful to be featured in Dorset Magazine’s yearly round up of Leading Ladies again this year and hope to continue sharing healing and love to you all again throughout 2024

Much love, Saira xx

Healing the Heart Chakra

 

Pebble heart at Mellulah

Centring, Opening and Cleansing the Heart Chakra

The heart chakra is an energy centre, the most powerful of all the seven chakras, when we are closed in the heart, we are cutting ourselves off from the rich and everlasting peace, love and harmony that emanates from the universe.

The heart holds Samskaras, from this and previous lives that influence the way we behave, think and react to certain triggers in this life. These Samskaras can be cleared and released to give us more freedom and mental clarity through the practice of yoga.

A Samskara maybe created through a traumatic experience such as a lover betraying you, the death of a parent or child, losing money, health problems, there are many ways that these impressions can be created. There can also be positive Samskaras, from feeling great love, being blessed with a child, a happy marriage, abundance or good health.

What are Samskaras?

Samskaras are impressions left on the heart chakra from past Karmic experiences. We all have them, without them we would not be human, they are natural. Just as a garden always has weeds, the weeds will always come and we will want to uproot them. So we can uproot our Samskras through yoga, a union of body, mind and spirit. It would never be possible to rid ourselves of all Samskaras but we can work with the ones that challenge us most, the ones that keep forming and manifesting into our lives. e.g. if you had a Samskara held from a previous experience where you had been betrayed by a lover, you may keep attracting a similar experience to you so that you can eventually release and heal the blockage in your heart chakra. This can be painful but in the long run it will help you to move more freely through your soul journey.

The memory of why we have a particular Samskara may now be gone, if it has affected us from a past life we would not know the cause. But the impression on our heart is still there.

Samskaras are a part of the cycle of Karma:

> Action (Karma) > Impression (Samskara) > Tendency (Vasana) > Thought pattern ( Vritti) > Action (Karma)>

A Vasana is the effect of a Samskara. These are tendencies, or inclinations that are identifiable as our instinctive and emotional urges,  desires and feelings, whether they be negative or positive.

Vritti are the thought patterns that are created by the Vasana. Our thinking pattens (Vritti) are motivated by our tendencies (Vasana), we think to support our feelings. These Vritti form our patterns, our attitudes and our mental disposition.

Finally our Vritties lead us into action (Karma). We act out Karma because our mind tell us  through our Vritti to act, because that is how we will satisfy our desire (Vasana) which arose from an impression (Samskara) made in the mind from an earlier memory of an action.

So using the example of having a Samskara impression on the heart caused by a previous betrayal:

The wound wound would create a Vasana, an urge or desire to feel jealousy if our partner is close to another in any way, this Vasana would then create Vritti, thought patterns that make us think terrible things, negative thoughts of jealousy, letting the imagination run riot thinking of what could be going on between them, this could then lead to us acting out our Karma by reacting to our partner or the other person negatively. We could have an argument, push them away, get scared and behave badly in some way, end the relationship or seriously damage it, thus creating more Karma with that person and more Samsakara wound in our heart

We have many of the Karmic cycles continuing throughout our lives. According to Patanjali author of the yoga sutras  we must complete 36,000 cycles of creation before we can be released into Moksha, release from the cycle of Karma.

Can we control our Samskaras?

We can not control our past Samskaras because they have been created as a result of our actions, but perhaps we can stop our past Samskaras from controlling us.

The answer is in the practice of yoga which can help us to break the Karmic cycle at the Vritti level, so interrupting the thought patterns that cause us to act in particular ways, thus giving us new Karma and creating new Samskaras or adding to those we already have.

Patanjali defines yoga as this:

*Yoga is the restriction (control) of the fluctuations of consciousness*. So we must try to control our Chittavritti (the monkey mind/mind chatter) the various thoughts of the mind.

Patanjali explains there are 5 types of thoughts in the mind, some painful others painless:

1) thoughts about truth
2) thoughts based on incorrect perception
3) thoughts which have no basis in reality (day dreaming, verbal delusion, talking to oneself in ones mind or vocally and making no sense, having no basis in fact and uncontrolled imagination)
4) dream sleep state of mid
5) memories

By practising the 8 Limbs of Yoga we can attain the highest state of consciousness and be freed from ignorance and egocentricity, which are the cause of ones pain and suffering. One gains complete mastery of the mind and is absolutely no longer controlled by ones Samskaras.

1) Yamas: non violence, truthfulness, non stealing, self restraint, non covetousness
2) Niyamas: cleanliness, contentment, discipline,study, surrender to God
3) Asanas: yoga postures
4) Pranayama: breathing control
5) Pratyahara: sensory withdrawal
6) Dharana: concentration
7) Dhyana: meditation
8) Samdhi: state of ecstasy

By controlling the mind through yoga we can begin to control our Samskaras and release ourselves from cycles of Karma. When we feel the effect of a Samskara we can sit still, meditate and release the energy through our heart centres, this can feel uncomfortable and it is common for us to wish to distract ourselves from this pain. But by allowing it to move through us we can release it once and for all. We need also to refrain from reacting in any way when we are feeling the effects of a Samskara, stay still, sit and move to a place of peace, then decide the best way to deal with a situation or what needs to be said to a person involved, this way we are releasing a Samskara and by staying positive and peaceful we are not creating another.

Forgiveness and Compassion

Firstly, when we begin to understand the cycle of Karma, we can start to forgive ourselves. The cycle of Karma is universal, Divinely guided and destined by God alone. Our Karma is beyond powerful and beyond anything we can control, therefore we can find humility in knowing that our patterns and our behaviours are being caused by blocks in this Karma and not just by our own mistakes and weaknesses in this lifetime.

Forgive yourself and move instead to looking deeply at how to heal your Samskara blocks through the practice of yoga, choose to put time and effort into working at the Vritti level to be more aware and mindful of your thoughts, rather than spending time feeling guilty for your mistakes.

To help us clear the heart chakra further we can bring forgiveness and compassion where it is needed.

A vital part of cleansing the heart chakra is to forgive, this is a beautiful prayer that we will be working with:

Adding the name of the person you wish to work with to the blanks, repeat the first and second part out loud or in your mind for 3 minutes each, then lay down with your hands on your heart and repeat the third for 3 minutes:

1) I forgive ……. for all he/she has done to upset me.
2) I ask and I receive forgiveness for all I have to done to upset ……
3) I forgive myself, I dwell in Light, I dwell in Love.

Repeat daily to instil a sense of peace and compassion in your situation

(Forgiving others is not to allow ourselves to be mistreated. Forgiveness can take time and often there is a process to go through before the point of forgiveness is reached. Acknowledgement of hurt or damage to yourself or others, processing of healthy anger and shadow work, placing of boundaries to ensure we are protecting from others mistreatment of us, work to being self-empowerment to ensure we are acting in healthy ways and surrounding ourselves with kind, empathic people. Forgiveness can not and should not be rushed or forced as it can take away from these vitals stages of healing. Compassion in life is vital, but self compassion comes first)

A chant/mantra of self healing, humility, relaxation, protective grace, ecstatic joy and emotional relief.
Guru Guru Wahe Guru, projects the mind to the Infinite, the source of knowledge and ecstasy.
Guru Ram Das Guru means, the wisdom that comes as a servant of the Infinite this brings us guidance.
Guru Guru Wahe Guru Guru Ram Das Guru

Listen to this beautiful healing chant on youtube xx

First written by Saira in November 2014 

What is the Vagus Nerve and why does it need resetting?

 

What is the Vagus Nerve?

The Vagus Nerve is a vital part of our nervous system, it connects the brain stem to the digestive system and is key to bringing us out of the Fight Flight Response into Rest and Digest, where we can begin to relax, let go and chill out.

Stress, anxiety and trauma disorders are something a lot of us have to deal with and heal at some point in our lives. So much is now being discovered to help us find ways to release these issues in our bodies and looking into how to help reset the Vagus Nerve, is just one of many techniques that can have a powerful effect on how we feel, ultimately bringing us all to a place where we can feel better.

This nerve runs from the brain stem, down to the tongue, vocal chords in the back of the throat, through lungs, diagrhragm, liver, spleen, large intestine, small intestine, pancreas, kidneys, ending as a ball of nerve endings in the stomach.

On its way down through the organs, it picks up on signals from the body that can help it either encourage rest and digest responses or fight flight. For example, if we are breathing slow and deep, that will send a signal that we are relaxed and all is well, if the breathing is shallow and quick, the signal will be read very differently.

The vagus nerve  regulates the internal organs function, digestion, heart and respiratory rate and more. Stimulating your vagus nerve can send a chemical message to your body that it’s time to destress and relax after periods of stress.

The vagus nerve is so important to our health and wellbeing. It sends signals to all our internal organs and if its functioning well and balanced, it can be intrinsic and encouraging our fight flight response to calm and allow us to deeply rest.

Life is stressful for the majority of us, in one way or another, stress triggers are a natural part of life, but its about being able to re-balance after an event or situation that caused our levels to increase. The vagal nerve needs to be well toned and functioning in order for us to be able return to our balance point each time we are set off into stress.

If you suffer with any kind of anxiety or trauma disorder, its very likely your vagus nerve will be struggling. With these types of conditions, such as Complex PTSD, PTSD, panic attacks etc, you can not get back to your balance point and remain in a ‘survival’, ’emergency’ nervous system stress state most of the time. For you, resetting the vagus nerve could bring powerful healing over time and be a part of your healing, recovery journey.

How can we help the Vagus Nerve reset?

Yoga

Yoga really helps to reset this nerve, just by practising a good, all round yoga class will be helping you to relax and aid the balancing out of the nervous system, so vital to our health.

There are particular ways of practising poses and movements in yoga that can stimulate this more deeply though, these are poses that work particularly around the neck, throat, chest and heart as this is where the nerve runs past on its way from the brain to the gut.

Breathwork

Anything that stimulates the back of the throat, helps the vagus nerve. Slow deep breathing, Ujyayi breath, Brahmari (humming bee) breath are just a couple that can help.

Chanting & Singing

Stimulating the vocal chords brings balance to the vagus, in the same way as deep breathing, chanting OM repeatedly, its super simple to chant on your own or singing along to any tune, joining a choir or Kirtan group could help greatly. Singing loudly is the key!

Cold Therapy

The benefits of cold water are many, but the practice really helps to stimulate the vagus nerve. Check out Wim Hof to be inspired about the cold. Cold showers, sea swimming, ice baths (under supervision) or just splashing your face with cold water, all help to stimulate this nerve and bring greater to balance and wellbeing.

Other practices include, meditation, yoga nidra, Yin yoga and Restorative yoga, mindfulness and practicing mudra (hand gestures that are often part of a yoga practice)

J

New for 2024
Vagus Nerve Reset & Healing
Residential Yoga Retreat  in Charmouth, Dorset

Learn to Reset Your Nervous System
& Discover Ways to Heal Yourself
Through Yoga, Sound Healing,
Breath Work, Guided Meditation,
Wild Swimming & Nature Bathing
Vegan Meals, Indoor Pool

Spring Equinox
Tuesday 19th – Thursday 21st March 2024
Learn More March 2024

Summer Solstice
Tuesday 18th – Thursday 20th June 2024
Learn More June 2024

Bonhays Farm, Whitchurch Canonicorum, Dorset DT6 6RF

Book Your Vagus Reset Yoga Retreat Now

Imbolc Celebration Sound Healing & Gong 1st Feb 2024


Join me for a beautiful way to celebrate Imbolc, the coming of Spring, the very beginning of new growth and the gentle warming of the Earth.

 Thursday 1st February 2024 7-9pm £18pp
Imbolc Celebration Gong Bath with Saira
Moreton Village Hall, Dorset DT2 8RE

“May the stirring of life underground, stir new dreams into life within you.

May the flames of inspiration and new growth be ignited within your Being.”

— Imbolc Blessing

Celebrate the Wheel of the Year turning once again to bring us to Imbolc. Enjoy a blissfully relaxing and deeply healing sound healing immersion with 7 Chakra Singing Crystal Bowls, Tibetan Bowls and the Gong.

Meditations, poetry and chants to help us connect to the traditional ways of ritual and ceremony to honour beautiful point of potential and growth as winter draws to its close.

Here we stand midpoint between Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox, the Light is truly on its way!

Ending the evening with delicious vegan cakes and chai tea. A beautiful way to come together and share space in our amazing Dorset community.

Book This Imbolc Celebration Now 

Save the date! Sunday 24th March 2024 2-5pm for Spring Equinox Yin & Sound Healing with Sarah and Saira! Bookings open soon X

 

Book This Imbolc Celebration Now 

Awareness & Discernment on the Spiritual Path

 

Awareness and discernment are vital on a spiritual path. I hope you find my blog on this subject helpful, avoiding spiritual bypassing, magic wand and saviour complex mentalities and more.

I would urge any one on a spiritual path, to be very wary of any teacher or healer, who suggests they have a magic wand that can heal you of all your suffering and remove anything toxic from your life with one simple (but possibly expensive) wave of it!
Spirituality is about our inner work, it is hard, raw and takes time and patience. Healers are facilitators of your own healing, they do not actually ‘do’ the healing for you, they help you to do what you can do very well alone. A healer who is authentic will tell you they can help you fix yourself, not that they can fix you alone.
The ‘saviour’ complex can be dangerous, when a spiritual teacher really believes that they are a saviour of your/our soul and as their own ego becomes more and more inflated and their cheerleaders become more and more in number, their toxic behaviours will also increase.
There are more toxic and abusive people in the spiritual community than we realise. It’s a honeypot for narcissists to get their supply for example, as a narc loves a cheerleader! These people are quite dangerous and its important to do your research, ask around, get to know someones reputation, not just online as an online presence is easy to create as being all about the love, then behind the scenes a persons claims are false and they are detroying people, leaving a wake of broken victims behind them.
If you are sure that you are not trying to bypass your own shadow and spiritual work, if you are sure you are not buying into someones claims to have a magic wand for you, then you will be more discerning in who you choose to allow into your energy and into your soul.
Toxic spiritual teachers and ‘healers’ pray on the vulnerable, making a fortune out of people who are desperate for help. If you are vulnerable, you need to be extra careful you are not being further damaged by someone, who is leading you into spiritual bypassing and the hurt this can create in you long term.
For example – an abused woman who is praying to her angels and paying a healer for a miracle to change her abusive husband and make him be kind to her, actually needs to work on herself to find the strength to get up, pack her bags and leave to find safety, rather than staying trapped in her home hoping that angels, fairies and dragons will make it all be ok.
Find podcasts, books and teacher who can help you break out of the spiritual bypassing bubble that many manipulative, abusive and dangerous people are using for their own ego inflation and bank accounts.
Don’t turn away from spiritual practises either, our journey is a complex one, with a  need for regular review on where we stand, who we have allowed in and where we need better boundaries. A spiritual path is so rich and healings working with the higher realms, angelic kingdoms and spirit guides can be hugely beneficial to our lives and help us greatly, just constant awareness and discernment, continuous reflection and review in order not to get misled or mistreated by the sad fact that, toxic people live in all areas of life.
With love and guidance…GuRu – someone who guides you from dark to light, falsehood to truth, poison to nectar.
XXX Saira XXX

Reiki Share Evening in Dorset 8/2/2024

REIKI SHARE

Join Saira for an evening of Reiki Healing!
Thursday 8th February 6.30-9.30pm £15pp
Limited to just 15 people
Evershot, Dorset – address and directions on booking x

We will gather for this reiki share evening in my cosy cottage in Evershot, Dorset. We will share healing together in small groups and then have nice tea and cake, I’ll also share some sound healing with crystal singing bowls for you all too!
I am a Reiki Master Teacher and have been working with energy for over 20 years. I teach workshops to 100’s of students each year and offer courses regularly, Reiki, Third Eye Awakening & Akashic Records.
Click these links to find out more about my spiritual courses and my own spiritual journey

Sign up for £15

Hope to see you soon!

Starseed Healing for Lightworkers & Warriors


Starseed Healing for Lightworkers & Warriors with Saira
BUY BELOW FOR £5

Distant Healing, Clearing Meditation live on zoom or on a recording to release past lives and Lightworker wounds/witch wounds of persecution, abuse and all ways you may have suffered in previous incarnations as a healer/psychic/medium/lightworker etc

You missed the live meditation but you can buy it below for £5. Once purchased you will receive a link to YouTube to watch again and again, link in confirmation page after payment


 

 

The Plight of Starseeds

Join me for this powerful Starseed Healing Clearing & Releasing Meditation.

Starseeds, beings from evolved races, have come to Earth to aid in its ascension, but the experience has been fraught with challenges. 

Their sensitivity to humanity’s shadow aspects, such as negativity, violence, and ego, can lead to deep suffering. Many, driven by their inherent light and love, have found themselves in difficult situations or relationships due to a lack of boundaries. 

The naive expectation of finding universal love often clashes with the harsh realities of human behaviour. Some Starseeds withdraw, unable to fulfil their purpose due to mistrust and fear. Others grapple with accepting and integrating human shadows, working diligently to transcend their own negativity for collective upliftment. 

Starseeds from high-frequency races, like the Lemurians, face a particularly challenging journey on Earth. The corruption and deception on Earth are glaring to Starseeds, causing frustration and isolation. 

Those who have suffered may shut down their third eye centers, feeling lost and disconnected from their purpose. 

Many in our spiritual community resonate with these shared struggles.

Clearing Past Life Traumas as a Healer

Starseeds, healer, light workers and warriors in any form here on Earth, can work to clear the past life traumas and imprints that are causing us to shut down, be afraid and

For starseeds, it unveils moments of persecution for working with light energies throughout history. 

Earth’s challenges stem from the trauma endured by our ancestors, persecuted for spiritual gifts during eras like the witch hunts. These deep wounds create imprints in our karma, hindering our soul journey, and the Akashic Records offer a means to clear these imprints and transmute karma for greater freedom in this lifetime.

Calling on the Lemurian Christ Healing Rays we will bring in Light healing to activate a deep soul healing for all who attend this meditation, asking that any trauma imprints of persecution of any kind are released from your energy field.

More about this Starseed Healing for Lightworkers & Warriors with Saira

I will send distant healing and it will be received by you wherever you are, the session will be recorded and available to watch anytime and the healing intention will reach you whenever you watch. Sign up to receive a replay.
I’ve been working with healing since 2004 and have recently been introduced to the Lemurians and their Christ Healing Rays, that came through on 11th January 2023 as the comet drew closer to Earth and brought this blessing of Light with it.
These new codes are very beautiful, extremely simple to work with and release deep karmic wounds and shadow energies that might be interfering with your life in this current dimensional space here on Earth.
Since starting these zoom online healings April 2020, I have had so many wonderful stories of how they have helped you and as each one is recorded and you can watch again anytime, I know many of you watch over and over again when one has resonated with you deeply.

Archangel Metatron has  also been guiding me for some time now, sharing ways to help you all with new techniques and tools to bring you greater and more abundant healing at this time.

This is a deep, pure, intense vibrational work, using Sacred Geometry and working through multi-dimensions to bring you healing on many frequency levels, clearing past life traumas, blocks, contracts, entities, cords and anything that is standing in the way of you releasing and being able fulfil your soul purpose here on Earth as a Starseed.

Each of you will be brought in and held in Light, I will then process through the Healing Rays and you are very likely to feel energy moving through you as you sit or lie to enjoy the session.

I have shared all the previous Distant healing meditations recordings on my Youtube, please check them out the healing will be received by you whenever you watch/listen, enjoy!

All are welcome, all are freely and abundantly held in Light.

Please feel free to get in touch to let me know any specific needs for healing light each week.

Join the Facebook Event for this meditation for
more info and to stay in touch 

 

The Lemurian Christ Healing Rays Distant Healing Group on Facebook

Feel free to join my Healing Group the Lemurian Christ Healing Rays Distant Healing Group where your name is then added to my healing list, I send most days.

Please also listen to some previous meditations where the healing is received whenever you listen here 

Feel free to get in touch to request specific healing or to ask for it to reach friends and family.

Clearing Narcissistic Abuse

Some of what others have said after joining me for a distant healing guided meditation

Here’s what some of those who joined the last healing on 30th March 2023 said straight after the healing came to a close on zoom:

Manjeet –  That was so beautiful. Thank you! 🙏❤️🤗
Pam G – Thank you Saira!
Angela – Thanks so much xx
Shivani – That was awesome! thank you so much Saira x
Sammy – thank you xx
Jo – Thank you xxx
Tania – Many thanks, this was so powerful x
Katie – Thank you Saira xx
Debs – Wonderful, thank you so much 💓
Marina -Thank you Saira 🥰
Kelly – Thank you so much, that was beautiful. Lots of love and thanks xxx
Sara -Thank you Saira … much love xx
Sarah – Beautiful! Thank you Saira 🙂
Penny – Thank you, so beautiful x
Patricia – Thank you sooo much, Beautiful!!✨
Jacqueline -Thank you 💕💕💕🌸🌸🌸
Janet -Thanks so much, Saira xx
Beccy – Thank you, it was beautiful. The colours of blue I saw were amazing. xxx
Sara – Good night everyone … sleep well.  Yes my dogs enjoyed the healing too. xx

More feedback from my distant healings:

Thank you so much for yesterday’s wonderful session. You created such a beautiful healing space, I am going through quite a lot at the moment and it was exactly the calm that I needed. 🌈 It was lovely to meet you and really looking forward to joining future sessions. Thank you for the beautiful healing 🙏 “Kat

“Many thanks for this healing offering tonight. It was beautiful and full of love! I do hope to meet you soon in person x” Tania

Wow saira-that hit me straight away, I could feel my throat tighten and my tears building. I needed to hear that, I needed to feel that-I felt like I was really stretching out for it. This for me is one of your absolute best and I think it will be the place I keep going back too. Thank you for such amazing words Saira and a place I need to be now showing me faith! I feel so emotional xxx” Emma,

“Wow! So powerful. Can’t remember the last time I sobbed so much. A much needed release indeed.  Thank you for sharing this xx” Rob

“Hi. I just wanted to thank you for your recent angelic meditation recording. I saved it a while ago but only just had some quiet time today to listen to it. It was absolutely beautiful and even though I didn’t realise it before, I needed it so badly. I had tears rolling down my cheeks during it. Thank you so much” Anon 

“I just wanted to thank you and Annabelle for the healing last night. I have been in pain for a few days now. After the meditation, which I actually slept through, my pains have all disappeared! See you again soon! xxxAnt 

Clearing Narcissistic Abuse

 

Dealing with a Narcissist in your Life



Special occasions can be the most challenging times when dealing with a narcissist.

If you are living with an abuser, there is no other safe advice to give than to get help, get safe, and try to get away.

But if your toxic person is someone you only have to deal with some of the time, perhaps at work, or a family member, parent, sibling, or a friend you have to see occasionally, learning how to handle a narcissist as best you can is vital to keeping yourself as sane and balanced as possible.

It’s important to educate yourself on what narcissism is and how someone can feed off you as a supply for their toxicity. Narcissists feed off emotional supply and are looking for it whether the emotion they can get from you is positive or negative. They will provoke you to create emotions in you and then feed off the drama they have created. This pattern is vital to learn so you can see what’s called a ‘narcissistic attack’ a mile off and get out of the way as quickly and safely as you possibly can.

Special or big occasion are prime opportunities for a narcissist to get the supply they crave. It’s easy to create drama and chaos in others when we are gathered together, and they can quickly make themselves the center of attention and the center of their own toxic whirlwind. Watch out!

As you get to know and understand narcissism, you will start to recognize an attack from one quite quickly. But as it often comes as a complete shock, right out of the blue when everything is going along nicely for a while, any balanced person will take a while to realize that what’s happening has been created by the narcissist and is definitely no one else’s fault. Once a narcissist has been triggered into their fight response and has become activated, there really is not much anyone can do other than try to get out of the way and limit the harm that could be done.

Remember provoke – emotion – then feeding off the drama is the classic pattern.

  • Recognise you, or those around you, are being provoked.
  • You’ll know its provocation as it won’t make any sense to you, it’ll come out of nowhere, you’ll be utterly confused and when you try to reason, you will just create more activation in the toxic person.
  • A regular person without these traits, would be soothed and calmed by you trying to rationalise, a narcissist will take you trying to soothe and calm them or explain and rationalise with them, as supply and will start to feed off your interaction with them, actually making them a lot worse very quickly.
  • Try ‘grey rocking’. This is a technique that is helpful when dealing with a toxic person that you have to deal with occasionally, or someone who only contacts you via phone, text, email etc.
    • Make yourself as uninteresting as possible, be like a ‘grey rock’ that someone would just walk past without noticing.
    • Don’t react, respond or interact
    • Keep answers short and one word if possible
    • Don’t express any emotion or try to explain yourself
    • Try not to make eye contact
    • As soon as you can, safely leave the room or building to avoid any further drama
    • If you are being contacted by phone, make short, simple excuses as to why you are not available
    • Don’t respond at all if possible
    • Turn your phone off, archive their chat, block them if it gets too much etc
    • Grey rocking is not advised if you are living with a narcissist as its not sustainable over time and can cause you to shut down your emotions and disassociate from what is happening to you, its also not safe to use grey rocking if they are violent towards you, children or animals in your home.
  • Limit the time you spend with toxic people, if you have to visit, make sure its just an hour or two and not overnight or for long weekends. Stay locally and drop in to see relatives or friends rather than having to spend extended time with them.
  • Try to rise above other people around you, who can not see the narcissistic for who they are. They can be used by the narcissistic as ‘flying monkeys’ and ‘enablers’ which can provoke you further, so recognise them as such and limit interactions and avoid getting emotional around them too, as this will feed into the drama that the narcissistic person is trying to create.

For anyone on a spiritual path, an interaction with a narcissist, or their enablers, is rich in deep healing and full of opportunity for your spiritual growth.

It will take all the courage and surrender that you can muster to disengage and not get caught up in a narcissistic whirlwind of provocation and drama, if they start to kick off.

To release the ego enough to know the only and best thing you can do is as little as you possibly can is so challenging. It’s natural when we feel provoked to react; it’s natural when we feel wronged to want to defend ourselves and try to make it right.

Narcissists will go right for the spot that they know will hurt you the deepest. They have no integrity whatsoever and will go to any lengths to discredit you, try to ruin your reputation, and smear your name. They will even discredit themselves sometimes in order to make you look bad. If you can breathe your way through all of that, staying strong and empowered, having courage and holding your own integrity, you are doing some great work.

This is not about allowing yourself to be walked all over; we each have to judge each individual scenario in its own particular way to understand how best to limit the damage a narcissist will try to cause in your life, especially on special occasions.

To recognize that provocation is key to the pattern, you can make the decision to refuse to be provoked, and that takes a lot of strength and deep shadow work to be able to process and let go as quickly as you can, so the damage is limited.

Once again, if a narcissist is violent, aggressive, or causing you harm, if you have a trauma disorder like PTSD or Complex-PTSD, which is very common in survivors of domestic narcissistic abuse, get help, call emergency services, reach out to a friend or neighbour, and for long-term support and recovery, seek help from a trained psychotherapist who specialises in trauma recovery.

Read Sairas blog, Spiritual survival tips for trauma healing here.

Peace xx

 

 

 

December & Solstice Events

Join me for one of these beautiful, heartfelt and soulful events in person in Dorset and online during December and approaching the Winter Solstice.

Friday 1st – Sunday 3rd December
The Conception Plan Retreat at Middle Piccadilly, Dorset

Join me in Sherborne for a unique retreat with ITV’s This Mornings, Dr Larisa, coinciding with the launch of her book ‘The Conception Plan.’ I will be sharing yoga and sound healing alongside guidance on conception and fertility.
Tailored for those on their pregnancy journey, this retreat combines personal healing sessions, tailored nutrition, and meditative circles.

Heavily discounted and limited to a small group who are open to sharing their feedback in this pilot retreat.

Register Your Interest Here

Saturday 9th December 4-10pm GMT (8am-2pm PST)
Activate Your Awakening Online Workshop £33

My Angelic Team are bringing through some incredible energy at this time, this entire workshop has been channeled through them, guiding me to share with you, insights and information as well as powerful exercises, meditations and activations throughout this workshop. I hope you can join me soon!

Book This Awakening Workshop Here 

Tuesday 12th – Thursday 14th December  From £399pp
Middle Piccadilly  Retreat, Sherborne, DT9 5LW
Finding Deep Rest Residential Yoga Retreat

Join us at Middle Piccadilly in one of our remaining rooms for £429. A super simple, deeply healing and spiritual yoga retreat at this long-established and much-loved country retreat centre.

This retreat features Vinyasa and Yin Yoga, Crystal Sound Sessions, and Gong Baths. Nourish your body with plant-based meals and the option for additional treatments.

Book Your Blissful Yoga Retreat Now

Saturday 16th December 2023 10-4pm £88
Winter Solstice Yoga & Sound Healing Retreat Day
Launceston Farm, Blandford, Dorset DT11 8BY

Celebrate this beautiful transitionary time into Winter with us. A real treat for you in amongst  all the busy-ness and chaos. Take a day out for you and leave feeling ready for it all, rejuvenated, restored and full of the sacred space and soul lifting that we will share with you during the extra special day at this gorgeous venue in Dorset.

Book This Solstice Day Retreat Now 

 Thursday 21st December 2023 7-9pm £15pp
Winter Solstice Celebration Gong Bath
Moreton Village Hall, Dorset DT2 8RE

 

Celebrate the Wheel of the Year turning once again to bring us into the Winter Season. Enjoy a blissfully relaxing and deeply healing sound healing immersion with Crystal Bowl, Tibetan Bowl and the Gong.
Meditations, poetry and chants to help us connect to the traditional ways of ritual and ceremony to honour the darkest night and the shortest day, moving from this point into the Light part of the year.
Ending the evening with delicious vegan cakes and chai tea. A beautiful way to come together and share space in our amazing Dorset community.

Book This Winter Solstice Celebration Now

Hope to see you soon!

See more events for 2024 here

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