Sometimes we decide to take a Long Way Round
I’d love to start this third part of this insight into my spiritual journey, with something about how as I awakened, life just became a fairytale overnight and I never looked back. I’ve read a lot of books where that happens to people, they become healed, find themselves, start again and life is all great.
That isn’t what happened to me, my life took a much longer way around to come to where I am today. There was no sudden healing or magic wand that made it all ok, but I am so grateful for every step, perhaps I could have sped things up by learning quicker or perhaps my life unfolded exactly as it should have, teaching me more than an easy ride might have.
How much of what we live through in our lives, is an unravelling of Karma? Do we simply have to go through everything we are here to find, as a way of healing and evolving? Is life one long healing process, perhaps it isn’t about having a goal to become enlightened and find peace, but about all the releasing and letting go that we do along the way?
I have a lot of Karma it seems! I’m sure many of us would say the same. I’m no Louise Hay or Gabbie Bernstein, I did not wake up one day and find my life healed and I would never pretend that was the case. I feel its really important to remember that we all have to go through life, the way we are destined to. We made a soul contract before we come into each life and we have to go through the experiences in order to evolve and to heal. There is no point in being a victim and saying its not fair! Sometimes it isn’t, but we must accept our journey and try to enjoy the process of unraveling our tight ball of karmic thread, that we carry with us as we reincarnate. We can’t hide from the process, well we could try, perhaps staying in bed forever might be a good way out, but we’d only have to do it all again next time.
From 2004 until 2017, I lived alone and brought up my three children. My two girls had the same father from my first marriage and my son, had a father from a relationship I had about a year after my divorce that did not survive, despite all our trying.
From 2004 to 2011 we moved house four times, we had no money, we were days away from council temporary accommodation on two occasions and throughout these years, until around 2015, I continued to have to deal with my highly abusive ex-husband threats and court proceedings. Eventually we found calmer waters and never once in all this time did my angels and guides leave my side.
As we moved each time, we got further out into the Dorset countryside. I was guided by dreams and messages to know if we needed to make a step. From the agent repeating the same words to describe a gorgeous cottage in Happy Bottom, with the words used by a lady who read my tea-leaves in 1990, to a lucid dream during a healing session where I saw a long cream cottage full of happy children on a hill, that brought me to Luccombe Farm where we remain today. Both were moves that meant a brave leap, a move to an area and new schools for the children, new friends and moving further into the rural landscape, I had the resources I needed from spirit to support me in knowing it was the right move and thankfully each time we were on the verge of homelessness, fate stepped in and showed us the way.
The first courageous move to what I now call, our healing house, in Happy Bottom nr Wimborne in 2006, gave me the space I needed to start to heal. I became quite reclusive, focused on the children, gave up my work in fashion and started my re-training in healing and therapies. As I worked more with Reiki healing energy and then with holistic therapies, the connection I felt with spirit intensified.
I started to remember past lives, having visions of flying over flooded Atlantis in a Vimana, an ancient aircraft that used free energy, recorded in texts from over 4000 years ago. I saw myself in Ancient Egyptian temples, working with sacred oils, sound and massage to help people move through the karmic lessons with more ease and gain insight into the mysteries of life and the heavens.
It was here in my healing house that I first met the Earth Priests, they held my hand tightly as I had to let go of the cottage in the woods and move on. They told me that even though the next move seemed sad, there was an adventure to be had there and that my connection with the Earth Energies was going to begin and intensify.
Our next home in Spetisbury lasted for just over three years, from October 2007 to January 2011 I have happy memories of this time. We made lots of new friends, I was qualified as a therapist and started seeing clients from home, the children were really happy at school and although I was still a single parent with the same challenges as before, life started to feel like a spiritual exploration every day.
Earth Energy & Connection
I began to feel very drawn to the earth and nature in the area, I dreamt of Druids and pagans, ancient ceremonies and sacred sites. My quest and thirst for knowledge drew me to read and search the web, fascinated by the areas leylines and stone circles, the rings at Spetisbury, Badbury, Maiden Castle and Hambeldon Hill. I spent hours and hours in churches, feeling the energy strongly and finding the silence and sacred space very healing. I’d sit in Tarrant Crawford church all afternoon and as my children were still then seeing their fathers, or my parents supported me with helping me find a balance and time to myself, I had a double life of busy Mum and then complete freedom, almost every other weekend.
By this time I was regularly seeing Denise Brown in Wells, Somerset and working with Angel Healing, training as a Archangel Healer, I had delicious weekends spent with her and the energies and I was literally spinning with spiritual awakening and rememberings, I could write a book about all the guidance and wisdom that was coming to me in those years!
I went through most of this alone, with just one or two friends that I could share with. Now my life is full of friends and groups where I can be me, without fear of ridicule or being labelled a crazy. The feeling of being different and alone then, was very strong. The isolation was intense at times. I know this can be hard for a lot of people, as we all begin to collectively awaken, there are more ways to reach out. Joining a yoga or meditation class, a women’s circle or going on a retreat, these are ways we can begin to connect with like minded souls, but the isolation that can come from beginning to remember, in a world that has forgotten, can be agonising at times. Thank goodness there are now so many more of us!
2008 was a year of incredible experiences and karmic connections. I dreamt of people who then found their way into my life, sometimes I literally threw myself into theirs when I realised the psychic connection! Looking back, I was so excited and this was all so new, I was not practising surrender and going with the flow, which is now my default, I was jumping around like a child in a sweet shop, grabbing at everything!
One of these connections was with a man who led me closer to understanding more about Earth Energy, what the ancient people of England and the world were doing to harness this energy and why our landscape is so abundant with signs of their deep earth connection. How lost our Earth religions became after the Roman invasion and after the witch hunts of the 12th and 13th centuries. I learnt how much of what is written in our history books about human evolution is nonsense that dumbs us down. Humans have been on this planet far longer than we are taught in school, there is so much evidence of that. We have had contact with other planets, the Dogons in Africa and the Egyptians, the Lemurians, Atlantians, Sumerians and Mayans, ancient civilisations that had wisdom we are only just beginning to attempt to understand.
During this year I went to a Crop Circle Conference, a tour of Ancient Dorsets Sacred Sites, a travelled to holy wells, stone circles, churches and barrows all over the South West from Cornwall to Cambridge. I dowsed for Earth Energy and dreamt of places I felt compelled to visit and sense for myself.
By late 2008 I was in Arizona, touring sacred sites there in Sedona and around. It was at Palatki, (Palatkwapi) a ancient site, full of pictographs and petroglyphs dating back at least 3-6000 years that my Earth Priests introduced themselves to me properly. We were part of a small group tour of the site and I held back in a small cave, it was very dark and I could hear the group moving on outside. As I stood in the corner of the cave I saw three, crystalline, Light filled beings appear before me. They told me it was time for them to come and that they would stay with me now. They gave me there names, Erinkudo, Erinyami and Donashtiyamo.
These beings have never left me and I now channel them regularly and share with you all, they are with me when I work with the healing energy and over the past few months they now show themselves more clearly to me. Three tall, dark men, dressed in rich, colourful embellished robes of white, red, yellow, orange and black. One has a long black beard, tied with thread just under his chin to make the hair long like a tail down his neck.
These Light beings now radiate their Light to Earth from the Pleiades and this is the Star System I have been told I and so many of us are from. Brought here now at this time to remember and to help others remember all that has been forgotten, as our Earth comes out of its 3D slumber into a high vibrational 5D awakening.
They stand with me when I do a healing, one at the end of the couch, one each side, holding hands and then with me to make a diamond shape around the person on the bed. For years now I have felt them stood behind me, with their hands placed around my head and temples, sharing the Light with me, I feel them now as I write. It is rare for a day to go by without me feeling them there. Sometimes its very intense, like recently when I was working on a client with a neurological disease, they pushed into my third eye centre so hard it felt like the energy was drilling into my head, telling me to sit and channel that energy through until the pressure on my forehead eased. It went on for at least 20 minutes, like nothing I’ve felt before.
Shortly after the experience in the cave, I have a photo of me taken standing outside a diner, not far from the Grand Canyon in Nevada, with a huge orb of Light around my head, it was giant! And there they have remained to this day.
Past Life Memories
From that trip in 2008 until our move to Luccombe Farm in early 2011, life continued to unfold, like a spiritual adventure.
My memories of past lives intensified. (I must stress that all my past life memories came directly from my own dreams, meditations and visions. I decided not to put my trust in anyone else telling me what my past lives had been. I fear that someone else, might add their own energy to mine, this made me want to be very clear about only taking what came as truth, if it came directly to me from source):
I was cruelly separated from a partner in a life as a Bogomil, a religious sect who with many others, fled Eastern Europe and joined the Cathars in France. I had never heard of the Bogomils, who has?! I loved how so much of what was shown to me in dreams and visions, I discovered more about, through google! The wonders of spiritual wisdom using modern tech to help us learn.
The vision of being publicly tortured and killed in a life as an Aztec, stayed with me for a long time and disturbed me greatly. I worked with a Shaman, whilst in India earlier this year, to help me release the continuing pain and fear, associated with that memory.
In 2009, as I remembered a life during WWII in Warsaw, being rounded up in a park, as a mother with my children, my body also showed the signs of this, as my chest developed three unexplained dark patches. I believe they were gun shot wounds, after months of visions and memories that were very traumatic and lots of angelic healing with Denise Brown, the scars left my body and never returned.
There were beautiful memories too. Working as a healer and with herbs around the time of Jesus that led me to search and study his life and the Gnostic teachings. Reading the alternative history of Jesus as a yogi, a Lama and how it is very unlikely that he died but that he lived on, perhaps to travel to France and England before returning to Kashmir and being buried there. Was it possible that the Bogomils, Cathars and the Templars were protecting evidence of this heretical theory and could that be partly why they were so persecuted and eventually wiped out by the Catholic Inquisition? Did the European witch hunts, ensure that we have no proof that Christianity was once warped from its pure, beautiful beginnings, into a controlling system that has killed off not only many people but also our connection with the earth and our true nature so readily over the past 2000 years? Are many of us here now, returning to Earth as this time to help us rediscover this forgotten energy and connection? I am more sure of it than ever the past few months, that is for certain.
I’ll end this part of the story with a dream that woke me up in the middle of the night with a name. ‘Mellulah’! I wrote the name down and as always the next day I excitedly googled it. Maa-lou-la an ancient town in Syria, 50 kms from Damakas and the only place in the world where they still speak Aramaic, the language of Jesus. Mellulah means ‘entrance’ and it is thought that this sacred place was the entrance to the Garden of Eden. Almost of sigh of understanding came to me then and this became the name of my therapy business.
I’ve since unravelled more and the Earth Priests have told me that Maaloula is where they originated from, in their lives on Earth during the Sumerian period. This also perhaps explains why, aged 11 yrs old I started spelling my name, Saira, the Arabic way of spelling that also means ‘Bird’ or ‘free soul’. The gathering of memories is never ending, only last year I was introduced by a Sufi teacher, to the Aramaic Lords Prayer, which can still send me in to floods of healing tears, as I listen to it.
I have now shared with you up until 2010. I was on the cusp of heading into a new life that I could not yet see. I had been given a vision in November 2010, showing me that there was love and happiness for me in the future, in a long, cream cottage with a road sloping down to it from a hill behind and water in front of it, perhaps a river, a stream or maybe a pond?
The journey into my own personal Surrender Experiment was soon to begin. A final release from the abusive cuffs, that chained me to my first marriage and the coming together of years of study and insight. Seeing beyond the illusion that is our reality, life began to take a shape that would continue to feel, like one long adventurous journey of discovery.
Life has been full of hope, despite many challenges with my family, some of which I shared in a previous blog from 2014/15 OmShantiMellulahOm, I have always known I am being Divinely Guided, I am where I am meant to be, doing what I am meant to be doing and learning always. Life continues to be a spiritual school and to this day, this moment, I have so much to try to understand and figure out about myself. But my strength and determination to keep evolving does not wain, even if I feel I am taking, A Long Way Round.
Thank you for continuing to read my story, Part 4 coming soon xx