A Spiritual Awakening

Spiritual Awakening

Read Part One here if you like xx

What is a Spiritual Awakening?

Part Two

A spiritual awakening can be gentle or fierce, sudden or slow burning, its different for everyone and there aren’t any rules on how it should or could happen to you.

An awakening is a releasing of the ego, a time in someones life, when their ego begins to weaken and they start to connect with something higher, the soul, the spirit, the higher self. A person begins to see the world through new eyes, belief systems are questioned, depending on the culture lived in, perhaps religious dogma will be challenged, or consumerism, capitalism, materialism, no longer make sense.

On a personal level, an awakening can create more awareness of how we function in life, our emotional triggers and patterns, how we treat others and how we allow others to treat us. Old emotions can be healed as we realise the ego is holding onto old grudges, resentments, judgements and past injustices. The need to be right and to be the best, to win, to have status, money, power, control, this begins to dissipate as an awakened being sees the truth, that love, compassion, kindness are important more than anything and a relationship with the divine consciousness  is vital, as that divine love melts away pain and the suffering of the ego.

Then I woke up!

In 1998, whilst pregnant with my first daughter Betsy, I began to have experiences that I could not deny. Very real and obvious visions, dreams, messages and endless coincidences and synced events that I could not ignore what was happening.

The first visions I had were so simple, I would close my eyes perhaps to take a nap or meditate and I would see shapes, silhouettes of very random items that I would then see later that day. Once, there was a shape of a toy that a visiting family brought with them later that afternoon, the face of a person I would then bump into in the supermarket a few hours later, letters with company logos on them that would then arrive in the post. That ‘deja vu’ feeling was heightened and I’d realise an event that was happening during the day, I’d dreamt the night before. It was gentle, nothing crazy or mind-blowing at first, just simple nudges that let me know something was happening.

Spiritual Awakening

I had a dream one night when I was in the last few months of pregnancy that I have never forgotten and I’m reminded of frequently. In this inspiring dream, a friend of mine Nick Cadman, pointed to a beautiful, coloured bird and said “See that bird, how can you not believe that there is a God when you look at a stunning creature like that?”. I awoke the next morning in my ground floor South London flat and sat on the fence outside my kitchen window, was a Jay, all gorgeous and blue feathered, I stood there, huge belly and a cup of tea in my hand, absolutely stunned.
Over the past 22 years I have seen Jay’s frequently, early on after the dream I would see them the day before something significant would happen to me, not always positive events, it felt as though the Jay was a messenger from the Gods, letting me know they were there, not to worry, I was safe, protected and to watch out.
The last time I saw a Jay was on the 31st October 2018, in a clients garden where I was giving her a massage, the day before I made the decision to give up alcohol, the most incredible, fearless year of my whole life, was to follow.

Spiritual Downloads

In the years that followed my first spiritual experiences, they came often. I had been suffering with anxiety for many years and after the birth of Betsy, living in London and in an unhappy marriage, panic attacks were becoming common and debilitating. In 1999, my mother-in-law at the time, gave me a cassette of what I would now call ‘Yoga Nidra Meditation’. It was incredible, she had been using it to help with some tension, but for me it was literally mind blowing!

I would put the cassette on whilst Betsy was having her afternoon nap and I began to feel transported to another dimension entirely. It was very scary at first but also so intriguing and impossible not to want to try again and again. I would feel lifted out of my body, I would see and hear all kinds of people, faces, places, I had no idea what was happening, I was awake and really aware, not asleep, I now know what I was experiencing is called Lucid Dreaming.

Some of the experiences were messages for me, I remember very clearly being told ‘We are very pleased with you’, I will never forget that it was amazing. I would see a ring of peoples faces looking down on me, like a circle of angels all looking in to see how I was doing. Then it felt as though I was being educated by my angels. They would show or tell me things and I had a sense that I was meant to then begin to research that further online, find books, or watch films. This started with a clear vision of a DNA Spiral, that led me to one of the first books that really showed me something I’d never known of before, ‘DNA and the Cosmic Serpent’ by Jeremy Narby, all about Shamanic Amazonian Tribes and the mind altering plant Ayahuasca.
Spiritual AwakeningI was shown Fractals that led me to begin to explore the Crop Circle phenomenon in the Uk, particularly the Julia Set Crop Circle at Stonehenge of 1996 that I found quite astonishing in its beauty. This fascination went on for many years and I still love to look at the circles as they told me just looking at that them was helping us to open up our DNA codes, a little like looking at a Mandala.

I was shown incredible visions, like blueprints for what looked like cars and machinery,  co-ordinates for parts of the world I had never been to, I seemed to be surfing some kind of cosmic web, past and future, other dimensions all coming together at once, as I was in deep meditation. I had a conversation with a young man in the army who had had a motorbike accident, but had not yet realised he had passed away, he was fine and it didn’t feel strange, he then said goodbye and went to the Light.  I saw disasters, rubble, brief visions of destruction, but nothing ever scared me, it was like I was watching a movie but completely detached from it. These are just a few of the visions I had, it was constant and daily, like another world.

The only time I would come back feeling unsettled would be when I would sometimes feel knocked, bumped, prodded or if my name was called very loudly. All of these happened sometimes, once a bird flew into my face, I’d wake up with a jolt, often coughing, it was like I was being shaken spiritually to wake up not only back into my reality, but also more deeply to wake up to my soul.

Looking back its wonderful to remember these experiences from over 20 years ago. All of this was happening to me, over a  period of a few years, in our flat in East Dulwich, often with Betsy curled up next to me having her long afternoon naps. Life was very hard then, my mental health was at a terrible low, I was very unhappy and struggling. I had no one to share any of these experiences with at all, I mentioned something to my then husband a few times and he told me I was obviously even more crazy than he had thought. I kept quiet and never once spoke a word to my friends, who I can’t imagine would have understood, or I just wasn’t prepared to take the chance and be further ridiculed.

My children have always been the ones to keep me grounded and sane. I often wonder how much of what was happening to me, was also happening to Betsy, my gorgeous, cheeky little girl, who would often lie next to me. I’ve been told since, when I later met Wren Murray, that Betsy was bringing a lot of this energy in for me.

During my second pregnancy with little Mimi, I would talk to her, she was an old lady and the soul that was going to come and be my baby. I didn’t realise that until I was going into labour in the early hours and I saw this old lady lying in a bed with her husband. A voice said ‘she’s ready to come’, and another said ‘but I’m still here’, it was as though Mimi was in a transitional space between one life and another, four hours later she was born and has brought me nothing but joy for the past 17 years.

Finally, after seven years of awful marriage it ended, January 2004. By September of the same year, I was starting to see my angels, a giant blue orb of Spiritual AwakeningLight. Seeing this, really scared me at first and sent me into complete melt down, but through the incredible support of my loving mother Pat, who helped me recalibrate, ground back down and then found me my first Reiki teacher, I settled into this new being as though life had always brought such gifts to my door. I honestly believe my angels were waiting for my husband to get out the picture, so they could really start to work with me, they knew I would never be fully able to embrace them so long as he was in the way.

I don’t know why I had the experiences I did early on, or why it took so many years for me to begin to understand what I was perhaps meant to be doing here to help others. But I am so grateful for what happened to me then. I feel that a lot of my experience was around the time that the energy on the planet was shifting rapidly, a lot of people, like me, were waking up.

A lot of us had been through the ‘rave’ years of the late 80s and early 90s, a lost youth culture trying to make sense of a lost world. Looking for our tribes and turning to drugs to replicate almost exactly what I now feel, when my angels bring me beautiful healing. A little like the hippies of the 60s, we were that next generation looking for something other than what life offered. It does not surprise me that the feeling of ecstasy we all felt whilst dancing in fields at parties back then, is so incredibly similar and loved filled as a spiritual experience. I love that so many seekers I have met a long the way, were also in those fields searching for their missing parts, I love that so many of us did find those parts eventually, our souls and now we are using everything we learnt and the struggles we had, to help others to heal. Beautiful.

The next chapter of my spiritual journey took me on the most incredible ride. A single mum with three beautiful children, Lenny arrived in 2005 and I lived alone with them all until 2017. The visions and guidance began to consolidate, I listened more, followed the steps I was being asked to tread, I found God, a Divine connection that changed me so much I wonder if people I knew back in the late 90s wonder what on earth happened! This crazy, party, wild child, found herself, thank goodness xx

How could I ever have known, listening to that old cassette tape, exhausted, anxious, self-destructive and in a terrible state, that life was going to be come one big, long, magical adventure.

Part 3 coming soon, thank you so much for taking the time to read my story so far. Love Saira xxx








My Spiritual Journey

spirit guides

A Spiritual Adventure!

Part One

Outing myself and my Spirit Guides!

Many of you will have known me for many years for my yoga teaching and retreats, some will have come to me for therapies and healing in the past, but I haven’t always been quite so open about my true spiritual connection. Recently, events around the world have led me to feel that I need to be more honest, open, share my truth and the channeled messages and meditations, the healing that comes to me and pass it onto you all, if you would like it.

This is me, outing myself to you whether you know me or not, as a totally cosmic out there lady!

How it all started

I first started channelling through spirit guides in 1998, whilst pregnant with my first daughter Betsy, it came out of nowhere and suddenly my inner world transformed as I began a tentative communication with something I knew little of, and very rarely spoke of to anyone for many many years. It was quite isolating and if I’m honest, yes, at times I thought I had gone completely crazy!  In 2004 after the birth of my second daughter Mimi and shortly before becoming pregnant with my third little cosmic bundle, Lenny, I started to also see Angels, or as I prefer to call them, Lightbeings.

The first Lightbeing I ever had the privilege to see, was a huge blue orb. It was at least 1.5m in diameter and the light shining from it radiated out in rays, it hovered in the air for a few incredible moments, right between Betsy (then 4 years old) and I, as I left her room after saying goodnight. I was in complete shock after witnessing this at first, it took me many weeks to fully recover from what I had witnessed and Betsy slept in my bed for a while too!

I am completely convinced that my children bring a lot of the energy I feel to me, the fact it all started during my first pregnancy and that all my children, now aged 14,17 & 21 are very connected to the energy themselves, I think my children helped me to awaken.

Once the shock had subsided, life transformed. I was introduced to a beautiful local woman named Wren Murray. Wren worked with powerful healing energy, Shamanic work and mediumship. She came to see me at home and told me I had a gift as a healer, she showed me how to work with the energy and that the Lightbeings were coming to me now, because they had been trying to connect with me for years, but I’d not really been listening. They’d tried many, soft, gentle methods to get me to accept and work with them, but they’d tired of the gentle approach and so had come to me in a way that was impossible to ignore and that would set me on the right path after too many years of distractions.

How do I see and feel my Spirit Guides

I see my spirit guides as Light, sometimes large or sometimes tiny blue orbs, white crystalline light or swirling lights that spiral like DNA in the air. I feel it too, I walk around most days with a pressure around my temples, it gets stronger when my guides want me to listen more intently, or I’ll hear a high pitched sound or feel a lightness on my cheek that just reminds me to stop, to tune in and to hear deeply. When I’m working, either remotely or with someone in the room with me, it can get so strong its really intense around my head. I think of it sometimes like spirit is holding me as if they are giving me the healing energy so I can pass it on. Imagine someone stood behind you with their hands around the sides of your head, that is what I feel most of the time during the day.

Since 2004 when things really started to happen, I have followed their guidance and surrendered to a path that I feel has been mapped out, step by step, by these Light-guides. I trust them completely and my business, Mellulah, would not exist or have had the success it has, had I not listened and followed the journey they have led me on, and done what I was told to do, over and over again to bring me to here, today.

Channeling and receiving messages has become so natural now I rarely think about it as being more than just part of life, but I realise it is very special and I do feel very honoured to have this connection. Sometimes I am just given advice or guidance for my own personal life or where to take steps or move away from things in my work. But often the communication is much more about all humanity, the energy coming in, the vibration that is changing in some way.

Also I am told what is needed in a yoga class or on a retreat, what to say during a meditation, most of my work is not pre-planned, and if I do plan it, that often goes out the window when you all arrive and I am given guidance of what is needed at that time.

So I am beginning to share more openly now and have been putting my recent channeled messages online via social media and youtube the past few weeks, the response from you all has been so lovely, to know it is really helping you is beautiful. I also started the healing group to send distant healing which I am delighted to know is helping many of you at this time.

Meeting my spirit guides

I first felt introduced personally to my Lightbeings in 2006 when I was living in a beautiful, quiet, tucked away place called Happy Bottom in Dorset. My children were still very young and I had cut myself off from the past and found a little cottage in the woods to retreat and spend some time being a hermit for a few years after divorce and a hard time.

They first called themselves the ‘Earth Priests’,there were three of them and this led me into exploring some of the ancient Earth based traditions like Paganism, Druidism and I loved reading and educating myself on the traditions we had in England many years ago. Much of this was so connected to yoga and Eastern traditions but just lost along the way, particularly by the Inquisition that annihilated these beautiful rituals and ceremonies from society and from our history books.

In 2008, I took an amazing trip to Arizona in the US and visited a number of ancient Navajo sites. It was during a guided tour at Palatki, that I managed to find a few moments in an ancient cave by myself, slipping away from the group. There I began to see incredible lights, filling the space with white light and spiralling silhouettes of figures began to appear. Here I met the Earth Priests I’d been communing with for the past 2 years, they gave me their names, Erinkudo, Erinyama and Donashtiyamo.

Since then I have met many  spirit guides, you will too. We are sent different guides for certain periods in our lives, for me the Lightbeings who have stayed close, are there to help me with my work. They help me to tune into people to help them heal, they show me the next step but never the whole picture. I am guessing as much as anyone, I don’t know exactly how things will work out, I have to trust implicitly that if I leap, I will land, eventually.

Its an adventure! An adventure that I am grateful for everyday.

Part 2 – A Spiritual Awakening 


Angelic Healing Meditations, 121’s & Distant Healing Group

Watch the latest Full moon healing meditation on my Facebook page 


A Cellular Healing Channeled Meditation July 2020

Healing Meditations and Guidance

Please take a look at my Healing Light Meditations and Guidance videos on Youtube. I hope you enjoy my healing meditations and feel the benefit of them, you can ‘subscribe’ to my youtube channel, its completely free, and by subscribing you will be notified when I add a new video and be the first to see it. Do also feel free share the video healing meditations with anyone who you feel would benefit.

healing meditation

I also send healing everyday to anyone who wishes to receive, this is completely free and all you have to do is join the Facebook Group below. I regularly offer ‘live’ guided mediations on social media that you can join, so follow me on all the apps you use and you’ll be notified when I am doing the next healing share.

Follow my Facebook and Instagram for regular updates and join my Angelic Light Daily Distant Healing Group to receive Free Healing everyday at 4pm

You can also book in a 1-2-1 remote healing session with me anytime. Find out more and book your angelic healing online.

healing meditation


Next Live & Free Light Healing Meditation on Facebook – Daily at 5pm during lockdown!

I will be going ‘live’ on the Mellulah Therapy and Yoga Retreats daily from Monday 9th November at 5pm GMT. Please like the page to be notified and reminded to join!
As we go back into Lockdown in the Uk and around the world, I wanted to offer something to help us through.
5pm UK
6pm Europe
12pm NYC
9am LA

Its been beautiful to share Angelic Light Distant Healing Meditations with you here on Facebook regularly over the past 8 months and during lockdown I plan to offer Healing Meditations every day.

I will send healing and it will be received by you wherever you are, the session will be available to watch anytime and the healing intention will reach you whenever you watch.

Feel free to join my Healing Group the Angelic Light Daily Distant Healing group, your name is then added to my healing list. But joining me for these healing meditations will mean the healing will reach you.

Feel free to get in touch to request specific healing or to ask for it to reach friends and family.

The meditation will involve a short relaxation and pranayama breath work and then you can sit or lie and receive the healing vibes. I will also sometimes play my Crystal Singing bowls too.

Please make sure you like and follow my Mellulah Therapy & Yoga Retreats page to be notified when I go live each day

I hope you enjoy, please share with friends xxx

This Live session will guide you into a deep healing meditation where I will send beautiful energy to you as well as guiding you into setting clear intentions for this powerful time, both individually and collectively we must work together to focus our awareness on Peace, Love, Light, Healing, Equality, Justice & Transformation. The time has come for us all to work in bringing about this Great Change.
Bring Yourself, your Light, your Spirit, your Presence and your Heart
I will also play you my Crystal Singing Bowl and lull you into rest to finish xx
I send healing daily to everyone in the private FB group
Please join the group if you’d like to.
I’d love you to join this Live session and sit with me if you can, the session will be available to watch anytime afterwards too.
Love Saira xx

Recent Channeled Messages

June 4th 2020

“I received a message this morning that the Light coming into our planet at the moment is more powerful than anything we’ve felt before, no human being on Earth will have felt it like this in their lives.
It is so strong it is literally burning into us, you might feel sensations in your body, particularly during meditation or the moments drifting into sleep.
It’s likely you’ll experience something like pushing, maybe around your temples, cheeks or upper chest. This is the Light energy reaching into you for deep healing, activating and awakening parts of you and easing long term suffering. This isn’t an overnight process and might just be the beginning of transformation for us.
They told me the Light energy coming to us now is stronger than any love a human can feel, stronger than any healer has shared, it is pure, celestial energy that is able to reach us now as never before.

If you find this process uncomfortable, breathe deeply, create an inner smile to banish fear, do yoga, eat well and rest and if you are troubled by what you feel, reach out to me and share”



healing meditation


Contact me to find out more and share  Love Saira xx


One year alcohol free and what a year it’s been!

A year ago today, I gave up alcohol completely and what an amazing year its been. I hadn’t considered that giving up alcohol would give me such a range of benefits other than just feeling better after a few glasses of wine on a Sunday morning. Its been really interesting to look back and see what I’ve actually done with myself this year, to see how much more positive it has been, in so many ways.

My relationship with wine had come to an unhealthy end and it took me a couple of years, attempting ‘mindful drinking’, ‘moderate drinking’ all of which felt as controlling and annoying as a calorie controlled or weight watchers style, restrictive diet. Or like having a relationship with someone who you know isn’t good for you, but you keep trying to make it fit. The facts were obvious, alcohol was not doing me any good and rather than trying to fit this toxic stuff into my life so I could fit into the social norm, I made the choice to get out.

Liberation came when I read Annie Graces book ‘This Naked Mind’, a fascinating study into the effects of alcohol on the brain and a very real look at how conditioned we are into believing alcohol needs to be a part of everyday life in our culture. 

Armed with this knowledge and a strong desire to wake up everyday feeling energised, I announced to myself and the world that was it, for good. Some considered this a brave move, some over the top and some questioned why I was making such a big deal about it, some still do. I am making a big deal about it again today! Because its a big deal! 

For many of you too it seems, I have had so many clients and friends tell me, my story inspired them to do the same and give up, I think thats amazingly positive, the collective consciousness is rising and we are becoming more aware of how alcohol has lied to us for too long, its time to take back our own power and push away what keeps us down and keeps us small.

My own life in the past twelve months has exploded into creative successes and adventures I had only dreamed of. I thought I had suffered with anxiety my whole life, but now I wonder if it was alcohol that made me anxious all along, I have never felt more balanced. Something was always blocking me from really achieving my goals, fears were always keeping me just below full throttle. It is still hard to describe what has happened, but its like a switch has been flicked and rather than my ideas and dreams bubbling just below the surface, never being allowed to be fully realised because of fears and doubts, they have literally exploded.

I’ve pressed the ‘book now’ button on travelling dreams I’ve had for decades. What made this suddenly seem possible? Nothing else has changed but being sober. I planned and booked a family trip to Thailand for six of us that we took back in June, I’m currently away running a yoga retreat in Morocco and after years of dithering, booked a trip for my husband and I to India coming up in a few months time, its like I’m having my gap year, just 30 years late! 

Work has always been a passion but its changed, I’m fully booked, all the time! The therapy diary is solid, often weeks in advance, the yoga classes are packed out and retreats are selling out over and over again, I have some money in my bank account for the first time in my whole life! My relationship has balanced out and I’m lucky that my husband isn’t a big drinker, but we never argue about politics anymore, hm perhaps that was me getting bulshy after the red wine got into my veins! And I still have fun on nights out, I definitely laugh more and feel more free to be myself when I walk into a room of strangers at a party or supper night. Alcohol lied to me for years telling me I needed it to be ok, I am ok, I am more than ok.

What has changed but being sober? I feel richer and fuller with more to give, my energy is balanced, my moods more stable, my anxiety non-existent and my belief and love for myself are complete in a way that I never knew was possible before.

I will never judge anyone who drinks and I wish that people wouldn’t feel judged by my not drinking, my giving up alcohol is about me and not about anyone else. Not everyone struggles with life sometimes the way I did, or feels that alcohol is detrimental to them in anyway and thats fine. But if you are even the slightest bit concerned that the booze is lying to you, that it isn’t helping you unwind or relax, that it isn’t fun or indeed a necessary part of having fun, that the craving for a glass of wine isn’t healthy and that we have all been told a very big fat lie our whole lives, that fits a social conditioning that needs rebelling against, maybe its time to make the leap into soberista life.

Enjoy, Saira xx

The practice of Loving Kindness

practice of loving kindness

How a simple practice can transform our lives.

Loving kindness is an act that brings joy and pleasure both to the receiver and the giver, it has a double effect. We all know how good it feels to see the eyes of a child, lover or friend light up when we give them a special, thoughtful gift or make an effort to do something to help them. We also know how good it feels in our own hearts to know we showed love and kindness to someone we care about. It works on strangers too, it feels good to buy from a Big Issue seller in town or help an overloaded mother with her pram, an elderly person cross the road. The more we practice kindness the better we feel and we are doing a service too, helping bring a little light and love into the world everywhere we go.

Taking this simple act a step further and looking at the Buddhist practice of Loving Kindness, helps us to deeply heal and release suffering from our present and our past.

This spiritual practice isn’t just about material giving and receiving, it is about feeling loving kindness to all living beings no matter what. This isn’t always easy and in our society we are conditioned to feel that we should hold on to grudges, to be unforgiving to those who have hurt us and to build a wall around our hearts to prevent future hurt or suffering. Deep inside us there is a wisdom that is calling us to let go and find love, forgiveness, compassion and kindness and that by doing so we will be released from our pain.

Here is a meditation on Loving Kindness that you can do quietly with yourself to help to clear your heart of old burdens, unleash love and bring a smile to your face:

  • Find a quiet place to sit, make sure you won’t be disturbed for at least 10-15 minutes. Repeat each line of the meditation out loud or mentally to yourself, the first time say the words using ‘I’ directed towards yourself and each subsequent time use ‘you’.
  • Second time think of someone you like and respect a great deal.
  • Third time think of someone you feel fairly neutral about.
  • Forth time think of someone who really irritates you.
  • Fifth time someone who has really hurt you either recently or in the past.
  • Finally think of your village, your country and then the whole world and all who live in it, particularly those in cultures that we do not know or understand.


  • May I/you be well, healthy and strong
  • May I/you be happy
  • May I/you abide in peace
  • May I/you feel safe and secure
  • May I/you feel loved and cared for

If you find it difficult to say these words whilst thinking of someone who has deeply hurt you, just make a resolve to try again another time in the future and leave it there.

Enjoy this meditation and bringing the practice of Loving Kindness into your life.

practice of loving kindness

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