Special occasions can be the most challenging times when dealing with a narcissist.
If you are living with an abuser, there is no other safe advice to give than to get help, get safe, and try to get away.
But if your toxic person is someone you only have to deal with some of the time, perhaps at work, or a family member, parent, sibling, or a friend you have to see occasionally, learning how to handle a narcissist as best you can is vital to keeping yourself as sane and balanced as possible.
It’s important to educate yourself on what narcissism is and how someone can feed off you as a supply for their toxicity. Narcissists feed off emotional supply and are looking for it whether the emotion they can get from you is positive or negative. They will provoke you to create emotions in you and then feed off the drama they have created. This pattern is vital to learn so you can see what’s called a ‘narcissistic attack’ a mile off and get out of the way as quickly and safely as you possibly can.
Special or big occasion are prime opportunities for a narcissist to get the supply they crave. It’s easy to create drama and chaos in others when we are gathered together, and they can quickly make themselves the center of attention and the center of their own toxic whirlwind. Watch out!
As you get to know and understand narcissism, you will start to recognize an attack from one quite quickly. But as it often comes as a complete shock, right out of the blue when everything is going along nicely for a while, any balanced person will take a while to realize that what’s happening has been created by the narcissist and is definitely no one else’s fault. Once a narcissist has been triggered into their fight response and has become activated, there really is not much anyone can do other than try to get out of the way and limit the harm that could be done.
Remember provoke – emotion – then feeding off the drama is the classic pattern.
For anyone on a spiritual path, an interaction with a narcissist, or their enablers, is rich in deep healing and full of opportunity for your spiritual growth.
It will take all the courage and surrender that you can muster to disengage and not get caught up in a narcissistic whirlwind of provocation and drama, if they start to kick off.
To release the ego enough to know the only and best thing you can do is as little as you possibly can is so challenging. It’s natural when we feel provoked to react; it’s natural when we feel wronged to want to defend ourselves and try to make it right.
Narcissists will go right for the spot that they know will hurt you the deepest. They have no integrity whatsoever and will go to any lengths to discredit you, try to ruin your reputation, and smear your name. They will even discredit themselves sometimes in order to make you look bad. If you can breathe your way through all of that, staying strong and empowered, having courage and holding your own integrity, you are doing some great work.
This is not about allowing yourself to be walked all over; we each have to judge each individual scenario in its own particular way to understand how best to limit the damage a narcissist will try to cause in your life, especially on special occasions.
To recognize that provocation is key to the pattern, you can make the decision to refuse to be provoked, and that takes a lot of strength and deep shadow work to be able to process and let go as quickly as you can, so the damage is limited.
Once again, if a narcissist is violent, aggressive, or causing you harm, if you have a trauma disorder like PTSD or Complex-PTSD, which is very common in survivors of domestic narcissistic abuse, get help, call emergency services, reach out to a friend or neighbour, and for long-term support and recovery, seek help from a trained psychotherapist who specialises in trauma recovery.
Read Sairas blog, Spiritual survival tips for trauma healing here.
Peace xx
Join me in Sherborne for a unique retreat with ITV’s This Mornings, Dr Larisa, coinciding with the launch of her book ‘The Conception Plan.’ I will be sharing yoga and sound healing alongside guidance on conception and fertility.
Tailored for those on their pregnancy journey, this retreat combines personal healing sessions, tailored nutrition, and meditative circles.
Heavily discounted and limited to a small group who are open to sharing their feedback in this pilot retreat.
My Angelic Team are bringing through some incredible energy at this time, this entire workshop has been channeled through them, guiding me to share with you, insights and information as well as powerful exercises, meditations and activations throughout this workshop. I hope you can join me soon!
Join us at Middle Piccadilly in one of our remaining rooms for £429. A super simple, deeply healing and spiritual yoga retreat at this long-established and much-loved country retreat centre.
This retreat features Vinyasa and Yin Yoga, Crystal Sound Sessions, and Gong Baths. Nourish your body with plant-based meals and the option for additional treatments.
Celebrate this beautiful transitionary time into Winter with us. A real treat for you in amongst all the busy-ness and chaos. Take a day out for you and leave feeling ready for it all, rejuvenated, restored and full of the sacred space and soul lifting that we will share with you during the extra special day at this gorgeous venue in Dorset.
Celebrate the Wheel of the Year turning once again to bring us into the Winter Season. Enjoy a blissfully relaxing and deeply healing sound healing immersion with Crystal Bowl, Tibetan Bowl and the Gong.
Meditations, poetry and chants to help us connect to the traditional ways of ritual and ceremony to honour the darkest night and the shortest day, moving from this point into the Light part of the year.
Ending the evening with delicious vegan cakes and chai tea. A beautiful way to come together and share space in our amazing Dorset community.
This workshop was held on zoom in December 2023, you can now buy and watch the 4.5 hour workshop via a private youtube link anytime by using the Stripe checkout below. The link will be on the checkout confirmation page and all other instructions are in the youtube link.
Stripe takes you to a checkout via The Light Spa
Any problems just contact Saira
Saira has been aware of Angelic Presences in her life since 1998 and has been working with energy healing since 2004. She has felt called to pass on guidance to others, about how to connect and tune in to the subtle energies around us, to our higher selves, our soul. Saira has been teaching Reiki to students for many years and this course would benefit anyone who is already working with the healing modalities, or who wishes to increase their connecting to the Angelic Realms.
This workshop will be very helpful for anyone working to Clear Karma though the Akashic Records, Past Life Healings and any Energy Healing Work for yourself or with others.
A shorter 1 hour version of this Awakening Workshop will be a part of the Akashic Record Clearing Training with Adrian Lee in Dorset on 28th October 2023 and online on 18th November 2023, to book those trainings please go direct to Adrians website here
Saira works with beautiful Light-beings, Angels and Archangel Metatron, her angelic team will take you through a powerful several exercises, healings, clearings and an Activation Meditation during this workshop, to ignite your inner Light, activate the Light Codes within your DNA to bring a greater and more abundant connection to you on the day and in the days, weeks and months afterwards.
I thought I would share some of the blog posts I have written over the past few years for you to read if you’d like to know more about my own journey with Awakening over the past 25 years. Its not necessary for the course! But if you would like to get to know me better xxx
Blog posts from 2020 to date:
Channeled Journals
An Un-Telling of Earth, A New Story
A Guidebook for the New Aquarian Age – Community
A Guidebook for the New Aquarian Age – Technology
Reaching the Oceanic Consciousness
Contemplation; A Catalyst for Awakening
When it is our time to connect through the veil of this reality and witness first hand, the Divine in action through us, it happens spontaneously and can not be forced. With guidance, wisdom, commitment and release of the egoic mind, we can move closer to the subtle energies around us, connecting through our Third Eye and finding what is naturally given to all of us, but lost for many in our dense, material world.
You do not need to be chosen or special to awaken yourself spiritually, we are all awake if we wish to be, it is just many have lost their connection to their True Self, their Awareness.
If it is your time to fully wake up, as it is for so many on the planet at this time of mass awakening, the guidance in this workshop will help bring that to you in all the magic, wonder and healing that it brings.
Saira will share ways to work with past life healing, subtle energy release and tuning in to hear messages from your Angels. Guidance of how to clear negative, unwanted energies from your self, others and your space, home and land. How to see, hear and sense messages, guidance and wisdom from the Light.
How to be discerning about what you are connecting to, working with our own shadow energies within, to ensure we are connecting only to Light and not allowing ourselves to be corrupted as we open up to the spiritual realms.
Trusting yourself is vital if you are to open up fully to the Light, learning to follow your intuition, whilst holding yourself in full awareness is key to flowing freely with the abundant spiritual guidance available to us all on Earth and through the Cosmos.
During this workshop, Saira will guide you through practical ways to open up your Spiritual Third Eye Chakra to begin connecting to your intuition, psychic ability, spirt guides and Light-beings.
Your Pineal Gland is the centre of awareness and consciousness within us all, there are many ways we can awaken this hidden, mysterious part of ourselves and you will find out all about this part of you, behind your eyes and will begin to fully connect to the ability to spiritually see, within us all. The Pineal Gland can be ‘calcified’ through many environmental and day to day actions in our lives, knowing what to do and how to reverse this blocking of this mystical connector, will help you find a way to your Higher Self more easily and simply.
Many star seeds who have been sent to Earth at this time to help us transition into the New Aquarian age, are suffering with past life trauma from previous incarnations where they were persecuted, brutalised, killed, tortured, or ridiculed for their healing abilities and energy work. There have been many periods in human history where large numbers of spiritual individuals, groups and communities have been wiped out by political and religious sects.
These energetic imprints of trauma have caused some currently here on Earth, to back away from fully embracing their abilities as he has, many are deeply afraid to come out and act on the awakening that is happening for them, preferring to stay quiet or completely feeling in denial that they are able to connect to the more subtle energies and help others with their healing abilities. This is clearing during the workshop, will help you to feel your password tonight around this area, Helping you to fully embrace yourself as an energy worker and light worker, helping you to fully fulfil your sole purpose here in this life as a Starseed, and fully release all trauma and discomfort around becoming a part of the awakened spiritual, Healing community that is ever growing on our planet at this time.
Making a commitment to being of service to Light is a major step in anyones spiritual journey. We can commit to being a channel to Light and allowing ourselves to be cleared, cleansed and purified of all that stands in the way of us being the greatest channel we can be.
Offering ourselves up wholly and completely is a beautiful experience of deep surrender, trust and faith in the Divine, life can move into a Divine Flow, allowing ourselves to be taken on a blissful journey of self-healing and transformation as we align ourselves in Light and into the Cosmos through all timelines and planes of existence.
Last summer 2022 I found out that I had a trauma disorder called Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD). This knowledge came after a relationship abruptly and shockingly ended, launching a life changing period of deep soul healing and ongoing transformation. Sometimes we must be thrown into the most desperate of circumstances, to discover the truth about who we are and how we got to wherever we are in our lives.
My C-PTSD had come from spending decades in a cycle of toxic and abusive relationships, over and over again. I found a therapist to help me when my year long relationship began to turn into a repeat cycle that I recognised from years of abuse. Having got out of a very toxic long term relationship just a few years previously, I was hyper vigilant and sensitive to the signs of abuse. I had been horribly damaged by trauma and cognitive dissonance caused by repeated gaslighting and confusion. C-PTSD actually affects the chemistry of the brain and my therapist saw that my issues were clearly related to having this trauma disorder. Finding her has slowly but surely changed my life.
C-PTSD is very common in people who have suffered abuse over a long period of time. The abuse causes the trauma and the trauma itself continues the cycle. Trauma attracts trauma.
(If you are currently experiencing C-PTSD scroll to the very bottom of the page for 13 steps to emotional flashback management)
Up until last summer I had managed myself fairly well, considering, and had created a mainly high functioning life. My lovely work has always been a joy; I have a yoga retreat and therapy business that generates enough to sustain and provide stability for my lone parent family. My three children are amazing and continue to bring me great happiness and pure love. Romantic relationships, however, have been a complete disaster; some might say carnage….
C-PTSD survivors commonly struggle with boundaries, are chronic people pleasers, co-dependents, and fawners who struggle with reading others’ intentions or motives. We typically ignore red flags, we make excuses for others rather than expecting accountability. We allow ourselves to be treated horrendously until one day it gets so bad that we have no choice but to wake up, take responsibility and begin the journey to getting well and finding our inner source of power within.
I call what happened last Summer Solstice 2022 my ‘Life Earthquake’. It came and shook me to the core and as everything around me and inside of me crumbled, I was left to search the rubble and find out why. I needed to take full responsibility for the shattered mess that my life had become. There was no rescue team coming, this was up to me and as I went into trauma regression, another strong part within me was determined that this had to stop.
My relationship ended abruptly and without warning. I was ghosted. This came a few weeks before we were being evicted and moving in together, to a house I couldn’t afford on my own.
The shock was profound and took months to recover from. Last summer, after he got out of my car and walked off in the rain at the beach, I sat there for over an hour, staring at the sea through the rain covered windscreen. Unsure about what had just happened, stunned about how I’d just been treated by the man I had been convinced really did care about me. I was unable to think, move or even pick up my phone to call a friend for help. This was the beginning of the shock and devastation that would last for months.
A bravery came over me for a day or two, a resolve that I wasn’t going to let myself be treated badly again. Little did I know those first few days of courage would not last and I was about to nosedive into a four-month C-PTSD regression.
(A trauma regression is an extended period of the intense emotional flashbacks that characterise C-PTSD)
During that time I managed to work but had to significantly cut back. Teaching yoga has always been a channelling of energetic source for me; a ‘space’ I go into, a place to access a higher source for my clients and yogis no matter what is occurring in my personal life. Thankfully, this continued to be the case throughout this traumatic healing time, and many people have commented on how surprised they were to learn what I was going through, as I continued to work, heal, and share. I call it love!
We were moving house in August and the shock was so enormous; it was such a struggle to get my head straight. I didn’t go into town once in that time, I didn’t step foot in a cafe, pub, or supermarket. I remember going into a shop with my daughter and having to leave and go back to the car. The C-PTSD symptoms made me agoraphobic for a long time.
As the trauma symptoms continued, so did the trauma triggers. For months the shocks and events surrounding this horrific break up continued. It was clear that my trauma was attracting trauma and would continue to do so until it was healed.
My ex used many classic abusive tactics as well as ‘stonewalling’ and ‘ghosting’, also called the ‘silent treatment’, after abandoning us.
During the last weeks of the relationship he’d ‘gaslighted’ and ‘manipulated’ me into believing his behavior was my fault. He’d raged, screamed and shouted at me and I’d struggled to comprehend what was happening, looking back I can see how the shock of that mask falling off, affected me so badly.
Once he’d disappeared, (known as a ‘discard’ when you are no longer useful to an abusive person). He embarked on a ‘smear campaign’ to one of my closest friends at the time, he used his own ‘flying monkeys’ to abuse me further with cruel texts and he left me with 20K debt as I tried to salvage the plan to move into our rented home with my children. After 2 years of searching for a home, after being given our eviction notice in 2020, I was left with very little choice.
For months I didn’t share with any of my clients or yogis what had happened. I avoided some really good friends and my amazing reflexologist until November because I just couldn’t find the words to tell them what had happened. I knew they would also struggle with the news.
Adrenaline was pumping through my body continuously, I found various ways to lighten this, and I list them below for you. For those first four months, June to October, I was in a permanent state of extreme trauma which I can only describe as wanting to climb out of my body and get away from it. I did venture out to a lovely yoga event in September, but cried every time I saw anyone I knew, until a dear friend took me aside, sat me under a big willow tree hidden from the crowds, and let me cry until we transmuted it into laughter in the rain.
Just as I thought I was really getting better, in early 2023 I regressed into an intense six weeks of C-PTSD symptoms; I couldn’t be alone at night, my trauma responses became overwhelming. Friends and family were amazing and helped me cope, coming to stay in my cottage or putting me up for the night.
I’d been ignoring these feelings of despair for years, allowing myself to be treated so badly for so long. I’d never talked about it, not even to friends, hiding what was happening, pretending all was fine, making excuses to my children and myself. I’d allowed shame, guilt, and self-blame to build so profoundly that I’d locked myself out of my own heart and refused to feel the pain.
Until that day at the beach when he got out of the car, when I had to move a few weeks later with no explanation or understanding about where he’d gone, when it got so bad it was impossible to excuse. He was just another ‘he’, another version of the same man who had been abandoning, betraying, smearing, and abusing me for decades.
I realised it wasn’t about him per se, it was about life giving me exactly what I needed, to ensure I woke up and faced it all. This was now or never.
I believe I am a very lucky person. I have beautiful, solid friends who I’ve known for decades, who have seen me through many ups and downs, and I feel incredibly loved. I have a supportive, kind family and parents who are always there for me.
For seven months after he left, not one day went by without someone getting in touch to ask how I was doing. I had a support team around me constantly checking in, who felt like a rock supporting me.
The fact that I am here today; healthy and well, writing this, is proof of how beautiful life can be and how privileged and grateful I am to be living it. If there is one thing I am certain of it is that I have no reason to feel sorry for myself. I am not a victim.
Finding out I had a trauma disorder was not a ‘get out free’ card for me. It wasn’t a way to give in and make excuses for poor choices and horrendous mistakes. There was no part of me that wanted to move on and declare to future partners that I had an issue, that I had no part in my behaviour. I wasn’t going to play the ‘poor me I’ve had an awful time, I can’t help it’ game, ever.
For me, finding out I had C-PTSD was a gateway to deeper healing. This was what I needed to better understand myself; to research, read, find experts, and commit to therapy. This was a way out for me, I was going to move forwards with this, not give up or stay stuck.
C-PTSD is not something I have, it is something I am recovering from, something I am healing from by doing the work. My true intention is to get to a place in the future where I do not suffer with C-PTSD, it is not something I intend to carry forward with me. It is my healer, not my truth.
It is my way out, not my way to stay stuck.
Last summer I had some wonderful, wise souls who helped and guided me, including my life-changing therapist.
One day at a time, one breath at a time….
Here is a list of a few practices that helped me in those early days, as I dealt with the shock of the breakup, packing up boxes and making huge decisions about finances and whether to move to our new cottage, or into storage. I am so grateful to everyone who helped me and stayed with me through that time, their guidance and wisdom was invaluable.
• Gather your good friends close – those who never judge you, who love you to pieces no matter what state you are in.
• Be prepared to retreat – hide and stay away from people, places and things that trigger you. This is about healing, not about keeping up appearances. If you need to go AWOL for a while those who care will still be there for you when you are ready.
• Cold water therapy – I have been swimming all year since last April and it has been a huge part of my healing. Sea swimming in December/January in the UK has been the most euphoric and deeply healing experience ever for me. It lifted me out of trauma over and over again last year and continues to be a huge part of my life now. I can’t tell you how good this will be for you!
• Dance – make a playlist of 3 songs, at least one really upbeat tune, maybe a dance/old school rave track. Set an alarm on your phone each day to remind you to dance. Stop whatever you are doing, shut the curtains, put on headphones and let it out, even if you end up in a heap on the floor, DANCE! Here is mine on Spotify
• Shake – shaking is a well-known way of releasing trauma from the body, do it once a day at least. You may not feel like doing anything as structured as yoga when your CPTSD is really bad, so shaking is a way to transmute the negative energy.
• Find a really amazing therapist – Internal Family Systems (IFS) is amazing and totally unlike regular counselling. Think Shamanic- Meditation-Talking therapy combined. Not all IFS therapists are trained Psychotherapists so think about what your needs are, I wasn’t comfortable with working with anyone who hadn’t had full training. Check the IFS directory and find someone that resonates for you
• Read Pete Walkers book C-PTSD, From Surviving to Thriving – his tools for emotional flashback management and understanding of the trauma spectrum ‘Fight-Flight-Freeze-Fawn’ is invaluable and life changing.
• Energy Healing – this is my work and my soul purpose here in this life, so I am lucky to know some incredible healers from around the world. Here is my top list of amazing healers (all work on online) who helped me through this journey:
• Adrian Lee – amazing Akashic Record Clearing, soul contracts, past lives…think miraculous! So glad I met this man!! The link will take you to his website.
• Corley Magnusson – beautiful rich healing energy and deeply wise guidance, Corley was with me all the way last year, I am not sure I could have done it without her support x email her at magnusson.corley@gmail.com
• Ho’oponopono – a Hawaiian practice for self-forgiveness, recognising the pain we cause ourselves by reliving traumatic memories over again and offering love, forgiveness, apology, and gratitude to the divine light within that wishes us to move forwards and feel well.
• Body work- massage & reflexology – your body needs to support to get itself back to balance. Body work will help to shift toxins that become stuck when you are flooded with adrenaline. You need help to regulate your nervous system which is completely knocked out. My reflexologist who I am hugely grateful for Annabelle Turner based in Dorset
• Tinctures & Supplements – the adrenaline flood that comes with C-PTSD means you need to antidote.
• Vitamins are vital especially C, B and Omega oils.
• To sleep take Valerian tincture.
• CBD oil is amazing (I ended up having to take the more hardcore THC oil for a few months just to be able to rest for a few hours at night and anything is better than pharmaceuticals sleeping pills).
• Rescue remedy and Bach flower remedies Mimulus, Aspen and others suitable for your specific needs.
• Guided meditation & Yoga Nidra – it’s impossible to silence the mind when your symptoms are intense which means silent meditation could be re-triggering. YouTube is full of lovely trauma-sensitive meditations and distant healings that will support you.
• Nature & Prayer- trees are so healing and magnificent views are transformative. Sometimes all there is to do is get down and pray to the Divine for release and guidance.
• Sacred Sites – I love to sit in ancient churches, standing stones and energy portal sites, reminding us of our pasts and our ancestors.
There is much more, and I will share in another blog soon. My recovery journey is ongoing. I came out of the intense regression last October and continue to feel the healing lifting me further up and out every day.
If you are a Lightworker, a Starseed, you are likely here to learn and evolve so that you can be of greater service to humanity. I believe that I have had these dark, challenging experiences in my life to learn from experience, so that I can truly and authentically know how to help others.
Some of us are not just Lightworkers, but LightDarkworkers; we came to work with Darkness too. I went into the darkest of places last year, I saw and sensed energy unlike anything in my life before – and I’ve been working with energy for over 20 years. I believe nothing happens to us that we can’t handle, so long as we stay strong and courageous. I feel certain that what I faced and overcame has given me a true and authentic ability to understand the uncomfortable and unspoken energy of darkness, that humanity is being released from at this time on our planet.
I believe I have been ‘exploring’ dark energy in my life as part of my soul’s evolution. It can’t always be pretty and fluffy! I am sure that what I have been through has been an ‘initiation’ of some kind, a sacred rite to take the Heroes Journey within and discover my true self.
Since finding the courage to accept and flow with this journey, my energy healing has become dramatically more abundant. I am having incredible results with my clients and channelling a beautiful Light energy that is helping people in many profound ways. Clearing out and detoxing from the shadow and unprocessed parts of my soul have created a way-in for a beautiful new energetic flow of Light. I hope to be of greater service to the Divine and to humanity and help others heal.
Facing darkness I found Light, I found truth, and I found healing. I will never be afraid of the darkness again because it has been my healer and I am eternally grateful for it.
I had a dream last summer, in fact it was a nightmare. I was in my house and in every room I went into there was another shock, something jumped out from behind a door or from under the bed, it was terrifying. Amidst the fear there was a kind, Angelic voice that said, ‘We had to get you to here’. I woke up instantly understanding what those words meant. I had spent years limping through life trying to hold it all together; bringing up my children alone, dealing with ex’s and toxic relationships, aggressive men, abuse and trauma. Things had to get so bad that I couldn’t ignore it anymore; I had to nearly be homeless, nearly lose everything, nearly lose my mind, nearly not make it, before I finally made a decision to face it all and take full responsibility for allowing these situations and people into my life for so long.
The search party and rescue team never did arrive, but I found my own and continue to work with my own inner rescue warriors day by day as I heal. I hope you find yours too.
Love Saira xxx
For anyone currently suffering with Complex-PTSD symptoms I recommend seeking help from a trained Psychotherapist. This Flashback Management help guide from Pete Walker was invaluable to me during my 4 month intense regression last summer and I add it here as it might help you today:
13 STEPS FOR MANAGING FLASHBACKS [Focus on Bold Print when flashback is active] Pete Walker, MFT [925 283 4575]
Clearing meditation and distant healing for survivors of narcissistic abuse. To bring cleansing and energy field releasing. For anyone who has suffered abuse and bullying from a narcissist, clearing the toxic imprints and thought forms this can leave in a person and releasing all karmic cords and contracts or agreements that you might have with this person/people. Clearing the Akashic Records and Re-Writing your Books of Life with new energies to help your Soul Ascension.
Archangel Metatron has also been guiding me for some time now, sharing ways to help you all with new techniques and tools to bring you greater and more abundant healing at this time.
This is a deep, pure, intense vibrational work, using Sacred Geometry and working through multi-dimensions to bring you healing on many frequency levels, clearing past life traumas, blocks, contracts, entities, cords and anything that is standing in the way of you releasing and being able to feel lighter, more free, peaceful and ultimately, I hope, happy.
Each of you will be brought in and held in Light, I will then process through the Healing Rays and you are very likely to feel energy moving through you as you sit or lie to enjoy the session.
I have shared all the previous Distant healing meditations recordings on my Youtube, please check them out the healing will be received by you whenever you watch/listen, enjoy!
All are welcome, all are freely and abundantly held in Light.
Please feel free to get in touch to let me know any specific needs for healing light each week.
Feel free to join my Healing Group the Lemurian Christ Healing Rays Distant Healing Group where your name is then added to my healing list, I send most days.
Please also listen to some previous meditations where the healing is received whenever you listen here
Feel free to get in touch to request specific healing or to ask for it to reach friends and family.
Here’s what some of those who joined the last healing on 30th March 2023 said straight after the healing came to a close on zoom:
Manjeet – That was so beautiful. Thank you! 🙏❤️🤗
Pam – Thank you Saira!
Angela – Thanks so much xx
Shivani – That was awesome! thank you so much Saira x
Sammy – thank you xx
Jo – Thank you xxx
Tania – Many thanks, this was so powerful x
Katie – Thank you Saira xx
Debs – Wonderful, thank you so much 💓
Marina -Thank you Saira 🥰
Kelly – Thank you so much, that was beautiful. Lots of love and thanks xxx
Sara -Thank you Saira … much love xx
Sarah – Beautiful! Thank you Saira 🙂
Penny – Thank you, so beautiful x
Patricia – Thank you sooo much, Beautiful!!✨
Jacqueline -Thank you 💕💕💕🌸🌸🌸
Janet’s -Thanks so much, Saira xx
Beccy – Thank you, it was beautiful. The colours of blue I saw were amazing. xxx
Sara – Good night everyone … sleep well. Yes my dogs enjoyed the healing too. xx
More feedback from my distant healings:
“Thank you so much for yesterday’s wonderful session. You created such a beautiful healing space, I am going through quite a lot at the moment and it was exactly the calm that I needed. 🌈 It was lovely to meet you and really looking forward to joining future sessions. Thank you for the beautiful healing 🙏 “Kat
“Many thanks for this healing offering tonight. It was beautiful and full of love! I do hope to meet you soon in person x” Tania
“Wow saira-that hit me straight away, I could feel my throat tighten and my tears building. I needed to hear that, I needed to feel that-I felt like I was really stretching out for it. This for me is one of your absolute best and I think it will be the place I keep going back too. Thank you for such amazing words Saira and a place I need to be now showing me faith! I feel so emotional xxx” Emma,
“Wow! So powerful. Can’t remember the last time I sobbed so much. A much needed release indeed. Thank you for sharing this xx” Rob
“Hi. I just wanted to thank you for your recent angelic meditation recording. I saved it a while ago but only just had some quiet time today to listen to it. It was absolutely beautiful and even though I didn’t realise it before, I needed it so badly. I had tears rolling down my cheeks during it. Thank you so much” Anon
“I just wanted to thank you and Annabelle for the healing last night. I have been in pain for a few days now. After the meditation, which I actually slept through, my pains have all disappeared! See you again soon! xxx” Ant
Over the summer of 2023 I wanted to share something deeper with you in our yoga classes in Dorset, I felt it would be lovely to share the Eight Limbs Of Yoga in more detail and so each week, for 8 weeks I will be working through each ‘limb’ or ‘branch’ to give you more insight into this ancient philosophy.
To join my classes please see the weekly timetable and booking system here
The eight limbs of yoga or the eight-fold path were written by Patanjali over 5000 years ago. They offer us a guide to finding meaning and purpose in life. Over the next eight weeks we will be looking at each limb. Studying a little more in depth helps us to understand more about the yogic path and how it can help us to grow as healthy humans and evolve as spiritual beings.
The eight limbs translate to ashta-eight and anga-limb Ashtanga!
Yama and Niyama have ten principles or ‘commandments’ within them, but a lot lighter and broader than the Christian versions. The Yama and Niyama are universal and perhaps could be seen as the foundation stones for many of the worlds religions. The Eight Limbs are not religious at all, they are guidance.
There are five Yamas around restraints and social disciplines, ways to live. Yama means restraint.
Non-violence, non-injury, non-harming, affirming our oneness with all life, by being kind, compassion and respectful to all living beings in thought, word and actions. Not causing harm or wishing harm distress or pain to any living being including ourselves or the environment. Also to not approve of another causing such harm. Ahimsa is not just non-killing, it to try to live in perfect harmlessness with positive love and respect for all life, not just in action but in thoughts and words as well. Ahimsa rises above anger, hatred, aggression, fear, jealousy, resentment, envy and attachment.
Non-lying, truthfulness, not to exaggerate, pretend, distort or lie to others, not to manipulate people for our own selfish concerns as this is against our true nature. Being honest with ourselves is the first step to self improvement and change. Its not possible to achieve self realisation or knowledge if we are sending our false messages about ourselves, we mustn’t deceive ourselves. Its still important to be thoughtful when speaking the truth to others. To live in truth you will have peace of mind, be free from fear, anxiety and worry.
Non-stealing, the main reasons people steal are insecurity, greed or because of poverty and desperation. Greed and desire are the source of stealing, desire keeps us constantly looking to the future for fulfilment rather than the present moment. We can steal material things from others but also their time, affection, emotions, attentions, ideas and thoughts, all of this goes against Asteya as it is all to fulfil our ego, ‘I’, ‘I want’, ‘I need’ and ‘I must have’.
Non-sensuality, not running after pleasure. This literally means celibacy, being completely celibate gives a person great strength and focus on his higher spiritual self. This yama suggest finding balance, not being too obsessed with the senses and gratifying them but to sit in meditation and feel the oneness of life where there is great peace. Practice the middle path, in the Bhagavad Gita Lord Krishna advise us to follow the path of moderation:
‘Yoga is not for those eat too much or eat too little, nor for those who sleep too much or sleep too little. But to those that are moderate in eating, sleeping, wakefulness, recreation and moderate in all their actions, yoga will bring an end to all sorrow. Those souls who have learned to discipline their mind and remain calmly established in the self, free from attachment to all desires, attain the state of union.’
Apara means ‘of another’ and agraha means ‘to crave for’, Aparigraha means ‘ without craving for what belongs to another’, or also not hoarding or accumulating.
Being attached can often mean people manipulate others through fear of losing the desired object. Problems arise when we cling wo what we think or security depends on ‘my whole life depends upon that person’, my security comes from being in this job, owning this house, being with my family’. This gives us a false sense of security by placing our power in transitory things or always wanting more. There is no need to strive to possess anything beyond the basic requirements for a comfortable life. True security is in the love in our hearts, our generosity and in giving unconditionally without demanding anything in return.
The Five Niyamas are to do with spiritual observances and self discipline.
Saucha means internal and external cleanliness, purity in thought, word and action. When we practise Saucha we are clearing and cleaning ourselves to allow more of our Light to shine through. We keep ourselves pure in mind and emotion and keep our environment ordered and clean. We treat the body as our temple. Physical cleanliness means to avoid excessive intoxicants or stimulants, to use purifying techniques like fasting, asanas, pranayama. Mental cleanliness could mean meditating and avoiding filling the mind with anything toxic like violent films, keeping company with negative toxic people etc. Environmental cleanliness means keeping our homes and workspace clean and fresh so energy can flow freely.
To practice Santosha we are happy and balance, content with what we have and the way things are. Living with awareness of the present moment, happiness is independent of our circumstances and does not depend on our external situation at all. We do not let our desires control us or get carried away wanting things, we are still within and calm, peaceful, we surrender to Gods will, we are non-attached to people, places or things, we live simply and we learn from our experiences.
Tapas means heat, inner fire, where there is heat there is also energy, which bring strength. Austerity or self-discipline destroys all impurities of the mind, said Patanjali in the Yoga Sutras. Austerity in yoga is not penance but to find a true balance between indulgence and abstinence. Using yoga disciplines to purify our minds and help us to selfless service to others and bring a positive contribution to life. The word yogi means one who practises meditation on the self within, who is self-disciplined, free from self-centred attachments, desires and egotism and who is contented and equal-minded.
By study of scriptures and oneself one is united with that loved aspect of divinity, Patanjali.
Svadhyaya also means the study of scriptural texts and silent recitation of mantras. Both to be practised in a meditative and concentrated state of absorbed awareness. In self study we learn not by gaining intellectual knowledge but by standing back to observe and study the studier. We observe our thoughts, feelings, behaviour, desires, motives and attitudes we can then see the delusions, false attachments and ignorance that prevent us from realising our true nature.
My favourite Niyama! By total surrender to God one attains perfection Patanjali. This Niyama means to completely surrender to the divine plan, to all things and to all that is happening to and around us. In complete trust that all is well and that we are being taken on a journey that will help us to evolve and grow. This Niyama has been my mantra for many years as I have worked through many challenges and I continue to live by it daily.
I give you myself, my body, my mind and heart, to do with as you see best.
Victory over mind and its afflictions can also be gained through complete surrender to God, the inner guide.
Asana means posture or seat. Patanjali only discusses yoga asana in three of his many yoga sutras and he does not talk about the many different styles of yoga that we now know in the West.
Posture is an attitude in which the body is kept steady (motionless) while producing a feeling of ease.
Unsteadiness in the body or its limbs is an indication of the unsteadiness of the mind
Patanjali does not describe any particular yoga postures but just the importance of being able to hold the body motionlessly in preparation for sitting for long periods of time in meditation. If the body is restless the mind will also become restless. For the mind to become still and quiet, the body needs to be trained to make it steady with ease and comfort.
The roots of yoga come from Hatha Yoga, Ha meaning sun and Tha meaning moon. The aim of Hatha yoga is to balance, integrate and harmonise these 2 energy flows in the body, sun, male, heating, positive and moon, female, cooling and negative. When balanced they create mental calm, vitality and inner balance.. It is also the aim of Hatha to purify the physical body from toxins, waster matter and disease, to free body and mind from tensions and tao make the body strong, firm and supple. All of this is important so we can sit for many hours in peaceful meditation.
The ancient yogis created the asanas simply to allow them to master the body so it could sit in meditation for often 10 hours or more, at a time. The true purpose of the yoga postures and other yoga practices is to awaken and harmonise the inner source of energy and direct it toward the higher brain centres to expand ones awareness and consciousness.
There were 84,000 asanas originally, we now only know perhaps 100 postures.
An advanced yoga student would not necessarily demonstrate this through their challenging postures but through the inner changes that will have taken place over years of committed practice, calm, steady gaze, sparkling, aware eyes, soft, mellow, resonant voice, clear skin, strong, firm, supple body, vitality and energy, lack of restlessness in meditation in the body, concentration, positive, enthusiastic attitude, cheerfulness, physical and mental relaxation, good digestion and elimination of toxins.
An advanced yogi understands the limitations of the body and is able to be without frustration at what the body can and can not manage in the asanas, accepting that each body is different and that time and age bring many changes to the physical body.
Pranayama is a sanskrit word, Prana means the subtle life force energy which runs through the body and mind, Ayama means the voluntary effort to control or direct this Prana.
Pranayama is the process by which the Prana is controlled by regulating the breathing voluntarily. The basic movements of breath are exhale, inhale and retention of the breath.
Having established a firm, steady, posture, one then regulates the life-force by natural voluntary suspension of the breath after inhalation and exhalation – this is Pranayama. Yoga Sutra 2:49
Simply Patanjali tells us to exhale and retain the breath. The Hatha yogis tell us that to hold the breath out, the mind will think of nothing at all but the fact the breath is being held out. So when we retain the exhale our minds are in suspension, it loses its fuel, it is no longer distracted and it becomes quiet.
During deep meditation, the breath naturally becomes suspended for short periods of term, it is in this interval that we find pranayama . To the meditator in deep meditation there is no sense of time, the mind is still and in that deep peace there is joy and bliss.
Patanjali goes on to describe three types of pranayama:
Bahya Kumbhaka a pause after a very slow and prolonged exhalation
Abhyantara Kumbhaka a pause after a deep, prolonged inhalation
or a prolonged pause in between the inhalation and exhalation.
Prana is the vital energy of the universe, it is known in China as Chi, Japan as Ki and in the West as Spirit. Working with the breath we are trying to still the mind, trying to control the mind and suspending mental activity and the ego. With the mind still and the breathing calm, our inner light can begin to shine more radiantly.
Patanjali pictured above.
Pratyahara is the last of the 8 limbs that deals with the body and the brain, the first 5 limbs deal with the outer phase of yoga, the final three deal with the inner phase and with changing the mind.
Pratyahara is about bringing the attention inwardly. Also known as the withdrawal of the senses, when we are focused on what we can see, what we can hear, smell or touch we are drawn out of ourselves, in this limb we are drawn to the inner.
Through the practice of asana and pranayama the mind is guided inwardly being totally aware of the breath. Pratyahara brings total attention into and within oneself.
Pratyahara is the interiorization of the mind, by reversing the senses outward attention from eternal objects to their source within (the divine self) Patanjali 2:54
By conscious interiorization of the mind, the senses function intelligently and in harmony without ego-mind interference. One acquires complete mastery over all the senses. 2:55
A true yogi is able to experience pure joy and bliss from the divine source within, they can do this consciously at will, whereas another person may need external source through the senses to experience anything close to such joy and inner peace. A yogi does not need alcohol, caffeine, drugs, television, sugar, sex or other ego neediness to experience inner peace.
Yoga nidra is one of the best techniques for experiencing Pratyahara. During yoga nidra, we are in a state of complete relaxation on all levels, brainwave patterns then start to change and slow down, from busy beta level to a deeper, slower alpha level.
Other ways to practice Pratyahara are, pranayama, various inverted yoga poses such as sarvangasana (shoulder stand) halasana (plough) and karnapidasana (ear-knee pose) which we often practice after halasana, repeating mantra and chanting Kirtan.
Once the senses are mastered through Pratyahara the next stage can begin, interiorization of the mind. Dharana means to calmly focus the attention of the mind on one point at the exclusion of all else, concentration. Dharana come from the word dhri which means to hold firm.
Concentration is the binding of the minds attention (focused awareness) to one particular point (to the exclusion of all else). Yoga Sutras 3:1
This kind of attention is not like the concentration we are used to, when we are focused on a task but our mind is still able to wander and feel distracted. We may be concentrating on driving the car but still miss the turning or reading a book but thinking about what we have to do tomorrow all at once. Dharana means to one-pointedly focus on an internal or external object. Internal objects are points in the body, the navel, heart, spiritual eye between the eyebrows and external objects are an idea or image that the minds attention is calmly focussed on from within.
Simple awareness on our lack of awareness is the awakening of awareness.
In the yogic sense, concentration is not created by effort or tension but through relaxation and ease.
How to achieve Dharana:
Relax the body and mind
Steady the body and mind, practice yoga asana
Calm the breathing, practice pranayama
Cultivate willingness
Cultivate interest and attention
1 Relax the body and maintain a firm and steady asana
2 Relax your mind, calm your breath and control your life-force with pranayama
3 Still your sense by reverting them back, inwardly to their source through pratyahara
4 With the thoughts diminished, calmly focus the mind on one point of concentration
In deep one-pointed concentration there is no consciousness of the body, time or surroundings, once begins to realise the omnipresence of the divine source.
Become aware of the breath and practice pranayama, move to bring the focus to the spiritual eye, the point between the eyebrows, chant a mantra such as Hong Sau the spiritual sound of the inhale and the exhale, candle gaze and enjoy the peace.
The first stage of meditation is Dharana, concentration, the second is Dhyana, meditation.
The difference between these two, is that in Dharana we are completely focused on concentrating on an internal or external object, eg: the candle flame and we are aware of ourselves focussing. In meditation we are not aware of anything and there is no focus, just complete absorption. In meditation there is no distraction at all, if we are aware of distraction, from thoughts in the mind, external noises etc, then we are only concentrating.
Someone who is meditating would not be distracted by any external disturbance at all. This is why meditators can practice anywhere, anytime, without need for quiet around them etc.
Meditation, like most spiritual practices, including yoga etc, is not easy and takes practice. People often give up and say they just can’t do it, but if we commit with an open hearted willingness to explore and surrender to the journey, we will get there eventually. How long it takes, it is not possible to know, we just try to enjoy the process and give it the commitment.
Meditation can help us to calm the mind, relax and release stress. It can also help us to spiritually awaken and sometimes open up in the third eye and become connected to our third eye centre for greater guidance and wisdom to come through.
To become self-realised and connected to God, to move beyond the limitations of our mind and ego and to become at one with a consciousness that exists beyond this contracted reality. Our mind and ego keep us very small and limited on what is available to us as human beings, meditation takes us beyond!
To begin a meditation practice:
Keep Trying! Don’t give up and the rewards will far out way the commitment and practise needed.
Samadhi – to gather or bring together’ ‘ unification of the mind’ or roots sama, meaning “equal,” and dhi, meaning “consciousness,”
Samadhi can not be practised, it happens spontaneously during meditation if we practice regularly.
Samadhi takes us into pure awareness and consciousness where we feel we have transcended the limitations of the body and ego mind.
3 stages in Hinduism:
4 stages in Buddhism
Samadhi is a state, it is not permanent, and our focus as practitioners should be to return there time and time again through our yoga practice. We must surrender to the process not grasp at the goal and trust that it may come, or it may not but to enjoy the journey not just focus on the destination.
From Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramhansa Yogananda
“My body became immovably rooted; breath was drawn out of my lungs as if by some huge magnet. Soul and mind instantly lost their physical bondage, and streamed out like a fluid piercing light from my every pore. The flesh was as though dead, yet in my intense awareness I knew that never before had I been fully alive. My sense of identity was no longer narrowly confined to a body, but embraced the circumambient atoms. People on distant streets seemed to be moving gently over my own remote periphery. The roots of plants and trees appeared through a dim transparency of the soil; I discerned the inward flow of their sap.
The whole vicinity lay bare before me. My ordinary frontal vision was now changed to a vast spherical sight, simultaneously all-perceptive. Through the back of my head I saw men strolling far down Rai Ghat Road, and noticed also a white cow who was leisurely approaching. When she reached the space in front of the open ashram gate, I observed her with my two physical eyes. As she passed by, behind the brick wall, I saw her clearly still.
All objects within my panoramic gaze trembled and vibrated like quick motion pictures. My body, Master’s, the pillared courtyard, the furniture and floor, the trees and sunshine, occasionally became violently agitated, until all melted into a luminescent sea; even as sugar crystals, thrown into a glass of water, dissolve after being shaken. The unifying light alternated with materializations of form, the metamorphoses revealing the law of cause and effect in creation.
An oceanic joy broke upon calm endless shores of my soul. The Spirit of God, I realized, is exhaustless Bliss; His body is countless tissues of light. A swelling glory within me began to envelop towns, continents, the earth, solar and stellar systems, tenuous nebulae, and floating universes. The entire cosmos, gently luminous, like a city seen afar at night, glimmered within the infinitude of my being. The sharply etched global outlines faded somewhat at the farthest edges; there I could see a mellow radiance, ever-undiminished. It was indescribably subtle; the planetary pictures were formed of a grosser light.
The divine dispersion of rays poured from an Eternal Source, blazing into galaxies, transfigured with ineffable auras. Again and again I saw the creative beams condense into constellations, then resolve into sheets of transparent flame. By rhythmic reversion, sextillion worlds passed into diaphanous luster; fire became firmament.
I cognized the center of the empyrean as a point of intuitive perception in my heart. Irradiating splendor issued from my nucleus to every part of the universal structure. Blissful amrita, the nectar of immortality, pulsed through me with a quicksilverlike fluidity. The creative voice of God I heard resounding as Aum,1
the vibration of the Cosmic Motor.
Suddenly the breath returned to my lungs. With a disappointment almost unbearable, I realized that my infinite immensity was lost. Once more I was limited to the humiliating cage of a body, not easily accommodative to the Spirit. Like a prodigal child, I had run away from my macrocosmic home and imprisoned myself in a narrow microcosm.
My guru was standing motionless before me; I started to drop at his holy feet in gratitude for the experience in cosmic consciousness which I had long passionately sought. He held me upright, and spoke calmly, unpretentiously.
“You must not get overdrunk with ecstasy. Much work yet remains for you in the world. Come; let us sweep the balcony floor; then we shall walk by the Ganges.”
I fetched a broom; Master, I knew, was teaching me the secret of balanced living. The soul must stretch over the cosmogonic abysses, while the body performs its daily duties. When we set out later for a stroll, I was still entranced in unspeakable rapture. I saw our bodies as two astral pictures, moving over a road by the river whose essence was sheer light.”
As the Earth steadily propels us towards an energy of awakening that deepens and transforms us day by day, is it time to focus not on definite truths and falsehoods that make up our reality, but on the possibilities that are unfolding before us?
So many are now questioning not only narratives of politics and the media, but the fundamentals of reality itself.
The persistent attempts to control our minds and our thoughts have spurred inquiries into far more than just the BBC news and Politics Today, the questions are now, is anything genuine? Is anything we’ve ever been told real? Are the history books works of fiction and do our origins as a race resemble anything close to what we absorbed through our education system?
Where we stand now is inspiring. This phenomena doesn’t represent people descending into madness or losing their rational minds, this is us using our intellectual capacities to open up to infinite possibilities, boundless prospects and endless new ways to comprehend our world. This is a process of breaking out of the moulds and foundations set in during our early year childhood education, where probing and questioning our reality was not considered important or vital to our existence.
Understanding that where we stand now, it doesn’t matter what the truth is, the focus is on scrutinising the truth we’ve been given. We are firing up our brains neural connections and cognitive pathways, enabling our consciousness to expand. It doesn’t matter if the Earth is a sphere, flat, square or holographic. It doesn’t matter if Ancient Civilisations were advanced and in contact with celestial bodies, or if Antartica holds the key to extra-terrestrial existence, what matters is the act of contemplating these mysteries.
We can sit and look out at the horizon over the ocean, and wonder, releasing our clinging to certainties and instead becoming open to possibilities.
A mystery, when approached with a curious mindset can be delicious, curiosity is powerful nourishment for the soul.
This is how we awaken, through the act of questioning the given. Trusting that all we know, is inadequate and that Satya, truth, rests in the hands of a higher power. When the knowledge we seek is ready to be bestowed on us, it will be.
Its exciting that so many are now taking the time to ‘de-program’ themselves by disengaging from the media and television completely. Being cautious about the information sources that they allow into their impressionable minds. Instead finding an openness to explore without fear or judgement, to become inspired and exalted through expansion of the minds infinite possibilities and our human capabilities.
Svadaya, self-study, involves not simply accumulating facts and information, but stretching the muscle of the brain to expand its ability to think beyond what it is has been told to think. This is what true education and study is all about, not just an ingestion of knowledge and information, but an active enlargement of our minds scope, which enables us to welcome the infinite possibilities available to us, allowing information from Divine Source to enter.
In time, when we are ready, we will be enlightened to this mystery. It will come, perhaps in our lifetimes, perhaps not. Our only role is to remain receptive.
I remember a time, around a decade ago, when yoga exploded in popularity on Instagram. Back then, a troubling trend emerged, as the platform became flooded with images of skinny women contorting into impressive poses or striking bikini-clad asanas. As a yoga teacher, I felt an obligation, along with many other teachers around the globe, to try to guide people to the practice and set straight that this superficial display had very little to do with the true essence of yoga.
Now, I find a similar phenomenon taking place in the realm of spiritual awakening, especially on social media. People are abundantly sharing images and videos of themselves in supposed “spiritual” moments, mimicking the same insincerity and pretence as those yoga images from the past. It’s concerning to witness a surge of self-proclaimed spiritual gurus who are having what can be called a ‘False Awakening’ and it can dangerous for those seeking spiritual support, to end up in the hands of these fake gurus via social media, in the same way as it was so sad to see the true essence of yoga so deeply diluted all those years ago.
True spirituality, working as a healer, a light-worker and helping others, isn’t something that can be squeezed into a photo shoot or an instagram post. Authentic awakening is a deeply personal and transformative journey that moves beyond the superficiality of social media. It’s essential for us to be mindful and cautious about encouraging such self-proclamation, as it perpetuates a culture of toxic behavior on these platforms.
Our constant exposure to social media deeply affects our psyche, influencing how we engage and interact with others. Rather than celebrating those who self-proclaim grandiosity, we should value and acknowledge those who have truly impacted others’ lives through their healing, light, or energy work. Recognition and praise should come from the genuine transformations and positive changes they have brought about, not from self-aggrandizing declarations.
Surely anyone who is working with energy and trying to help others, can only be proclaimed as ‘amazing’, ‘beautiful’, ‘powerful’ or a ‘leader’ by those who have been helped by him/her, not by themselves?!
Let’s differentiate between self-promotion, which is necessary for small business owners to thrive and inspire, and self-proclamation, which reeks of toxicity and delusion. No one can declare themselves an enlightened being or a spiritual leader. True recognition comes from years, even decades, of selfless service and genuine impact on others.
Spirituality and awakening aren’t theatrical performances. They’re raw, challenging, and often messy processes that require hard work and inner growth. Awakening involves profound shifts in our perception of reality, peeling back the layers of illusion to reveal the truth beneath the surface. It’s a deeply transformative journey that shatters the illusions of our culture, society, and systems, leaving us with a newfound understanding of our existence.
As a society, let’s steer away from applauding empty declarations and instead focus on fostering genuine spiritual growth and awakening. Let’s value the rawness and beauty of the real journey, and encourage true healers and lightworkers to shine, not through self-proclaimed grandeur, but through their genuine impact on others’ lives.
